Talked with Steve Harley a few weeks ago. Told me to contimue what I am doing. Sort of Plan A. I send her a card everyweek or two. Just something to keep me in her mind (what little is left <P>I told him I was going to "play his game" & stick it out the 2 years (will be at the new year) but I am really screwing with his statistics (timeframe of affairs). He asked how firm I was on this. Not super firm, but I had to set some sort of goal. Anyhoo, he suggested I keep sending the cards and talking with her when I can. Sometime in Sep/Oct I should talk with her about setting up a meeting (Go & visit her (wherever she is?))to discuss us & what is going on. and lay all the cards on the table, except my timeline. This way I can at least get her take on what their relationship is like because I have absolutely no knowledge of her situation.<P>What if she asks about divorce or asks if I am bringing papers? Just tell her we can discuss it face to face. She will probably think I am bringing her papers (but I won't yet). This should get her at least a bit jittery & perhaps she may begin to assess her relationship with wankboy and if it is all worth it.<P>So that's that.<P>She hasn't called for three weeks now. Last time she did call she spoke with my 14 year old. I kinda listened in. She was talking with my daughter about her (my daughters) boyfriend. She was being very good with her motherly advice. She said she should stick with one guy ojnce her mind is made up. My daughter has a boyfriend, but she knows another and he is "fine."<P>It really made me sick & I just wanted to pick up the phone & scream, "you freakin' hypocrite!!! Listen to what you are saying!"<BR>I didn't bring it up with my daughter.<P>My wife said she would call back the nest night & talk with me. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!<P>Not! She hasn't called since.<P>Last week I got a call from my daughters boyfriend's mom. She told me her son had spent the night at his friends house sleeping on the trampoline. My daughter had snuck out of our house at 2AM & came home at 6AM. She did admit it when I asked her about it, "but nothing happened!" So I've been giving her the talks again on lying (by omission) and lots of the sex stuff. Want a baby? Have sex.<P>So, I retire from the Air Force on 2 Jan. My last duty day is 27 Oct this year. Time to get a new job. Also, I'm gonna finish my Associates degree in Aviation technology and get my Cisco certification. Then to start on a bachelors in Electronic Engineering or computers. Don't know yet.<P>Been lookng at the divorce paperwork. Not too difficult. If I have to file, maybe at the first of the year. We'll see what happens before then.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<P>I don't reply much to your posts but I do read them. I don't ever know what to say since I obviously chose a different path from you , I didn't have it in me to give 2 years or to hang on like that. <P>Just wanted to say hi and that I do hope to see someone make it thru this awful mess. It would be nice to hear a success story SOMEDAY. <P>You have a plan, you have been sticking to it, and good for you!<P>Good luck,Dana<BR>

You're my hero...<P>When you go to meet her, don't forget the 6-pack of Pepsi...

Like Dana, I always read your posts, but rarely reply. Don't usually have useful to say...<P>But, I did want to say that I do really admire you, and I'm so sorry that you & your family have to go thru all this.<P>Kathi

Chris 'ol pal,<BR>I wish my ex had even a small fraction of your fortitude. I'm still praying for you and hoping for the best.

6 pack o' Pepsi AND an oat bran muffin.<P>Bwah, ha, ha, ha! <- Evil laugh!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hey Chris,<BR> You stuck it out longer than I did.<BR> Gee,at least she calls you.Mine ran off to live with BoyToy,and only got a short letter in the last year.<BR> <BR>Sometimes I wonder about this so-called 2 year time frame for affairs.My sister's X is still living with Mrs Robinson(much older woman)for about 10 years now.I guess that's just an average,not true for all.<P> Hang in there,buddy.<P> ~~Murph

Chris,<P>Not anything to say really, but you are amazing. Retiring from the AF will be an interesting experience, but then you can make the BIG BUCKS .<P>God Bless,<P>JL

Hey, Chris,<P>A rare "night out" on the MB Town for me tonight!<P>You sound really good, Chris. You've come a loooong way since Jan.'99 (which is about when I got on here too). You sound healthy and ready to face whatever comes. Hope I'm right! <P>Good job, old friend. Continue to keep us up to date, ok?<P>Suse

Chris,<P>I really don't have anything to say except, You sir are one of the reasons I haven't started hunting men with a rifle. Yet.<P>I don't respect many men, you, SHA,Rob and a few others here have helped me see that there are good men in this world, that deserve my respect. For what it's worth I salute you.

Chris,<BR>Glad to see you are still sticking it out. My h moved out last Sept and the ow comes to town for about a week a month. I see h several days a week and talk often, and I'm not sure if it isn't harder seeing him and having him around so much. But I continue to trust God and work on myself. we'll see. I am still sticking with plan A been over 5 years. But with the intermittant way they have seen each other it has reinforced the situation even more. But after they spent 3 weeks together at Christmas (longest they've ever been together at one time) they decided not to move in together. (some progress at least, I think)<BR>Did your girls see N'SYNC on the Today show. Mine wanted to go up to the show but the now 16 year old had to work early this morning, so we watched it on TV,. Good thing there were 15,000 screaming girls in the small confined space outside the studios. Plus they wanted to sit out there all night Whew! got out of that one. <BR>I don't post much on this borad (usually of the women's POPW Bible study forum, but wanted to say hi and glad to hear you are hanging in there and making plans for the future. We've been doing this too long, I think sometimes.!! <BR>hw

Hey Chris,<BR>Thanks for the update.<P>My 14 year old daughter starts high school in a month.<P>I am bracing myself. First time in public school and poor thing, graduated 8th grade with 4 girls, and no appealing boys anywhere in her "world". Lucky me.<P>It all ends. Plus she is a real beauty. Poor me. I am trying to be open and "cool" and still be her mom and role model. But I have conservative values (as does she at least so far) and I pray it all goes well.<P>I salute you for even living through these years.<P>Any tips?

Chris,<P>I'm fairly new around here, My D-Day was about 6 Weeks ago for my W EA which as of today she has no intention of stopping.<P>I see your AF so you might be able to give a little advice. I have an assignment to Germany and initially W had agreed to go with my S and I so we could work on it but as the day got closer she started to look for ways to back out and thanks to a divorced girlfriend of hers found one. So it looks like I will be going to Germany as a Single father of a 10 Year old boy. Talk about scared!!!<P>Anyway how did you continue plan A long distance? Maybe I should search on your user name..<P>Fixer95

Greeting Old Friend-<BR>You have stood an honorable test of time. You have become the best father these girld could ever ask for. They may not appreciate it now, but I can guarantee when they are older they will thank you immensely for being their role model.<P>Deep in your gut is the answer you seek. You can sit back and look at the effort you have made. You are a fine gentleman and you deserve happiness.<P>Good Luck and God Bless!<BR><P>------------------<BR>What does not kill you, will only make you stronger!