It was suggested that I post my message in this forum, that maybe some of you might have some useful advice for me. I will appreciate any input, I feel as though I am at a loss!<P>I am not sure if I am in the right forum, but here goes. My marriage was saved by both Dr. Harley's books and counseling. I was the betrayer. This is why I am here. My parents are considering divorce after many years of marriage. While this marriage has never been what one would call happy, they have managed to hold it together until now. Because I was the betrayer in my marriage, I know the signs. I believe my mother is in a relationship with the pastor of her church. The worst part of it for me is my Dad is the associate pastor. My mother is exhibiting all the signs I myself exhibited before discovery. I guess my question is: My dad is willing to do whatever it takes to save this marriage. Am I in the right to confront my mother? I have already written her a letter telling her of my concern. I just want to know that they did everything they could to save it before they end it. All of the behaviors my mom is exhibiting are totally out of character for her. I feel this man (who is a professional counselor as well) is manipulating my mom and taking advantage of her vulnerable state! Am I making a mistake?

imadeit,<P>Here is a thread I think you will find most interesting.<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/004246.html" TARGET=_blank> Klick here </A><P>Hope this helps,<P>JL

JL,<P>Thanks so much, it really does help. This is so hard for me, especially since I have already been thru it personally. I just don't want my mother to make the same mistake I did. My father seems to want to forgive and move on. My husband did too, for which I will be eternally grateful.<P>Thanks again!

imadeit,<P>I saw another post that you are going to talk with your mother. You debated about whether you should tell her about your affair. My thoughts on that are that you may find that it opens her eyes. But more importantly you may be able to guide to someplace where she can learn how to make her marriage better.<P>For that matter you may be able to guide your Dad to such a place. MB wouldn't be a bad choice. I do think that your experiences and remores might open her eyes. But first you will need to listen to her very closely as to why she is doing this. I presume the minister is married. If so there is so much at stake and you may be able to save two families.<P>I wish you the best of luck. On Monday please see if you can get Robino her. If she posts again I will direct her to your posting.<P>God Bless,<P>JL