Hi Gina and Gang,<P>I saw you had asked about me on the MEGA THREAD. That was nice of you, made me smile knowing that there are caring people on this planet.<P>Well this is the scoop,<P>Val called me on my Bday [July 2] and of course [being a bonehead] I started in on the marriage, divorce and relationship. Fight ensued and we hung up mad. I called back, no answer.<P>She calls me the following day to see what I wanted. I appologized for my behavior and we proceeded to have a very nice chat. 16 minutes with NO discussion on the marriage, divorce or relationhip. I made mention of her upcoming Bday and she said it was no big deal, was going to be out of the state on a conference anyway.<P>So, her Bday [30] came and went. I did send a card but did not call. She is never there when I call anyway, so why bother. That and you can imagine where I think she is and with whom. Easier not to pick up the phone for me.<P>Our anny comes and goes [July 22]. No card sent from either one of us. She sends me checks for some of the credit cards we built up over the past and usually writes something in a short note. Hey how are you? stuff like that.<P>Since the "nice" chat, no notes, no calls, no nothing.<P>Not sure what to make of things other than I am getting close to signing the last paper and calling it quits. Not what I really want, but this is not a marriage.<P>Some believe she is withdrawling from me to make it easier for her to handle the guilt. Is she too busy with school and work? I can bet Brian still hears from her as well as sees her.<P>Don't know what the hell is going on. I still come around and lurk. Don't have much imput lately for anyone. Don't want to bring the board down with me.<P>Just started on some anti-deps again and quit drinking completely. Maybe a little ETOH withdrawl for me.<P>Thanks for thinking of me. Any comments on her behavior would be appreciated. Iv'e known her for 12 years and am stumped.<P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Tim

Hi Tim,<P>No theories here, but it was nice to hear from you again. I'm sorry things aren't going better.<P>Take care.

Hey Zip,<P> Thought you fell off the face of the earth,or maybe went to India to become a monk(now there's an idea).<P> My stbx did the same thing.My B-Day was shortly after she moved out.She called to wish me a Happy B-Day(thanks,hon,say hello to boytoy for me),then.......nothing. <P> I think it's the guilt that makes them withdraw.How could she even talk to me on the same old level,now that I knew what she had done? <BR> At one point,I even asked her if she was just pushing me away,and she said"I guess".She said she wanted to forget the past(how convenient).<BR>Probably true in your case,too.<P> Glad to hear you stopped drinking.After my W left,I STARTED drinking,and realised that wasn't the answer.<P> You're stumped after 12 years,and I'm stumped after 22 years.Ain't life grand?<P> Take care of yourself.Don't think so hard about things.<BR> It doesn't help........<P><BR> ~~Murph