My H's favorit arguement is to tell me that I could do it too.<P>I feel that in order to justify himself he has to tear me down.<P>Who should I handle this. I feel that he would like nothing more than to see me fall on my face, come crawling back to him for forgiveness, even though he never even felt he had to that for me.<P>We were both in the same marriage. He unzipped the zipper, I never even considered it.

Hi T L,<P>I wanted to respond to your thread. Please do not think I am taking sides here because I am truly not. But I do think anyone is open to havign an affair if the right situation is present.<P>I am the betrayed but I know that when my H was always "working" I was lonely. I love my H with all my heart and then some but I was spending every day without him, just the two little kids and I. I did everything because H worked so much. We have never had babysitters and I didn't go do much with my kids because it was so difficult when they were younger.<P>I ended up gettign a computer and going online. I began to chat with people from all over. Then I became addicted. I felt like they were my link to the "outside". One person I met was very kind, friendly, considerate, charming-the list goes on. LUckily he lives thousands of miles away because it almost got to the point that I had more time with him online than I did with my own H.<P>I never ever thought about an affair. But I did dream of happiness, someone who wanted to talk to me,getting out of a rut (young kids, no sitter, basically no life).<P>Luckily my H did the big naughty before I ever did. It woke me up fast. And while I say now I would never ever have an affair I think there can always be a time where our "normal" being is not present.<P>I found MB-thank GOD-and even here you will ead of ministers, high society people and the like are all having affairs. No one is immune.<P>While your H may truly be saying that to ease his own damage done I will say that I do think any of us can get caught in this unpleasant situation. Although if our spouse does this and we know the pain we may well become a whole lot wiser when confronted with the situation than they were when they became involved.<P>If there is no suffering for someone who has commited adultry then it is my belief that that person isn't "real".<P>I wish you the best-and will pray for you <P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>