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#393422 08/07/00 10:38 AM
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,069
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Hi Guys,<P>Have some questions on Plan A. So, if you're well versed or an expert, please help me out with this.<P>Those of you who know my story know my H and I are separated, H lives alone but has OW.<P>My H continues to call me, email me, contact me and tell me he loves me and misses me. It drives me crazy because I get so caught up in his web of "I love you" that when he hangs up or leaves he's then 99.9% OW's, I become so confused, angry and hurt.<P>I don't expect you guys to tell me why he's doing this (telling me he loves me, etc.), I don't think anyone could figure that out. But I would really love some practical advice on how to answer his lovey cooey talk and not LB, I would also like to know "How can I manage my hurt, anger and confusion???"<P>How are the rest of you Plan Aers doing it. Are your H's telling you the same but walking away. What resolve have you come to that places you at peace with being told how much you're loved only to be stuck back on the shelf until needed again. I mean, good Lord, this could go on forever.<P>What's been happening lately is he and I get into an argument, after being told I love you and then being shelved, the next time he calls I'm angry, I push his buttons and he mine, next thing I know we're arguing. This is NOT what I want to do or be. Please help!<P>Jo<P>------------------<BR>Josie_Res@Hotmail.com<P>"Remain flexible like a reed, as opposed to an oak which can snap in the wind"

#393423 08/07/00 11:03 AM
Joined: Jul 2000
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As for me, he is living with her, but tries to spend his time with me and our children, probably because there is a AHO on her, so she cant be around my children. He doesnt tell me he loves me. He has decided to seek counceling, " to see what his problem is, and why he does the things he does." My problem is, that I am 34 weeks pregnant, and he is still with OW, my doctor wants to take me off medication in 2 weeks, in hopes I go into labor, I fear I will deliver by myself. I get very confused by his actions as well, I feel that him treating me to breakfast, and rubbing my back, and staring at me is a start, but I also feel that he is still up to his dirty tricks, because he continues to live with OW, knowing that there cant be any contact between him and I or even his children. (Due to AHO) He also claims he has nowhere else to go, and that it isnt "like that," meaning that they are not having sex, they just sleep in the same bed, just because...oh yeah, and as far as their relationship, he has just put it "on hold" for now, until he can figure out his problems. Whatever that means. Yes I would love to just grab him, and rub his nose in his own B.S. but, am trying to still be nice, and comforting, ( my tongue holds the wounds for that) Good Luck to you, you are not alone! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]


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