Hi,I have not been posting much lately because husband reads what I write in MB.(Even tho he is currently living with OW and 2 OC's.)<BR> I am on the roller coaster ride of emotions.A friend said something to me that really bothers me.She said"Your husband left you for someone he didnt even know,I have to much pride,I would never take him back".<BR> I feel deep humilation for whaT he has done,(he met ow on internet)and I feel deeply insulted that he left a marriage of 19 years for someone he didnt know.I feel down today,stuck in that thought.<P>My Grandmother is in intensive care,I will not be able to fly to see her.I am praying that God will take her without suffering,that is her wishes,she is in her 90's.bethn

Hi Beth,<BR>Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. Its hard to deal with anything else on top of the afair crap isnt it?<P>I think you can't really listen to people who have'nt been through this. Its so easy when you are feeling secure in your marriage or good about yourself to say you wouldn't put up with it. But when you are faced with it for real there are a whole lot of considerations and emotions that come into play. There is your family, kids, history, love and alot more. It is seldom a black and white decision. <P>Thats why you should take your time and do whats best for you. Look at you H making rash decisions based only on feelings of euphoria that he gets from an affair high.<BR>I strongly feel that he will regret it one day, at least how poorly he handled the situation, and how he hurt those he once loved, you and your children.<P>You have nothing to be humiliated over. Affairs happen evry day as we all can attest to. Look at those beatiful famous people they happen to. Just learn from it, don't be bitter and get the best revenge, a happy life while your spouse has to live with his regrets.<P>Lora

Lora<BR>Thanks for being there.This really stinks doesnt it,that we even have to post here.But thank god for you,and others, noone else knows the pain we have experienced!bethn

Beth,<P>I am so sorry about your Grandmother. Has she been ill long?<P>Like Lora said, it's hard enough to deal with the affair, but it's even harder when life throws you another curve ball.<P>You have nothing to be humiliated about. Your H is making a choice right now, IMO not a very good one, and he is the one that will have to suffer the consequences on his actions.<P>Hold your head up high. You didn't do this. This isn't about you. As hard as it is to realize this, it's about bad judgement on your H part.<P>I hear the pain in your post, and I wish I could reach through and give you a real hug. Just know that we are here for you and one day it will get better.<P>God Bless,<BR>Cheryl

People say the same to me. Until they have walked in these same shoes...they can say nothing. <P>I have a similar story and understand the insult. I feel thrown out for something new. <P>I might have read this here.. when women get bored they get a new dress, when men get bored they get a new mirror. And it really stinks!!!!

Beth,<P>Oh...Beth, I am so sorry to hear about your grandmother. I went through the affair and abuse stuff while my mother battled stage 3 cancer. Then my grandmother was diagnosed with lymphoma. Both are doing great....but here I am....the same.<P>I hate when people tell me....what I should have or should do. It is true what has been stated above......you never know how someone feels until you have been there.<P>Mt best friend went through the dicovery of her H affair 2 months prior to mine. I hurt so bad for her....but I just couldn't feel the pain like she did. I cried with her....sat on the phone with her at 3 am....spent many a night sitting on her bathroom floor with her, crying, talking and smoking, until I thought I would throw up.<P>Then I would come home...hug my H and thank God I never had to worry about that happening to me. We would actually talk about her problems and he was so disgusted in her H. Boy what hypocrites.....<P>Take care Beth.....anytime you want to talk....give me a hollar.<P>Nancy

Beth,<BR>I am new to the forum and I am so sorry to hear of your Grandmother as well. I too know where you are coming from. My mother is quick to tell me that I am facilitating my husband's deception because I don't insist that he leave me and our 2 young children who adore him. This is the worst hell on earth.<BR>My heart goes out to you. I do have to say that we are all lucky to have one another to confide in to get this pain out and be understood.<BR>Best of luck to you and many blessings on your Grandmother.<BR>Jen<P>------------------<BR><BR>JJJ

Ceecee,Tootrusting,Nancy,andJen,<BR>Thanks for your support,I do feel humiliated especcially with my neighbors,cant seem to hold my head up.<P><BR>My Grandmother has been in a nursing home for a few years,she has many things wrong with her,but now she has gotten pneumonia again,last time she had it she nearly died,<BR>I know she wants to be in heaven with my grandfather,so that is what I will pray for.<BR>Love and prayers,bethn