Took a 3 week vacation. Went to the Grand Tetons for a week. Had a wonderful time. Here is a few pix from the trip. <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/tetons/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/tetons/</A> . Yes we did see some bears. There were a few walking around the campground for 3 or 4 nights.<BR>Don't know if it was a very good idea to go there though. It's where we have been on family vacation for 4 years. I was sorta down thinking the Wife should have been there with us.<P>Spent 2 weeks at my Mom's house & visiting with the in-laws. They are pretty hurt about all this crap too. MIL is great. I love her to death. FIL is okay. He's a drinker & started in one night when I went to pick him up at the bar. I just blew him off. He doesn't have any idea about our relationship and he shouldn't be giving advice.<P>My oldest has been working at my SIL's Dairy Queen. She really enjoys it. Lotsa teenagers to hang out with. While she was there, a few of the kids were going to take off for a bit. She was gonna go with them, but my SIL stopped her. She told her, "you can't just leave." My daughter replied, "Why not? My Mom did." Boo hoo <P>The youngest went swimming all the time at my Mom's condo. I ran around seeing everyone.<P>Last week I felt extremely terrible. I don't think I have felt this bad since day one. Don't know if the Paxil I started 4 weeks ago is doing much. I did up to 30 mg. I'm supposed to go to 40 mg next week if it still isn't doing much. After that, I may have to supplement it or switch to something else.<P>I called the Wife 2 times while we were in the mountains. After that, she didn't call for 2 weeks. She did call at her Mom's house, but we weren't there. My daughter & SIL showed up later and MIL asked if she wanted to call her Mom. My daughter said no. She is really hurt by this, but has yet to say anything to me or let it out in any way I can see.<P>She called last Sunday and I talked to her for 2 minutes. She tried again on Friday, but we were already gone. She said she would call at MIL (she didn't) or call home on tonight. I'm not gonna hold my breath.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Chris -- The pictures from your vacation were great. Your girls are beautiful. Maybe you had too many memories, though, to be able to completely relax. I'll keep you and your girls in my prayers.

Ditto on what Janie said. The girls are just beautiful! I wish things were better for you all. I wanna say get out and count your losses, but that's hard to do. I know.<P>Stay strong Chris! You're a wonderful guy and great DAD!!!! That is what those girls are gonna remember!

Now I'm jealous...we were supposed to stay near Jackson Hole August, but it didn't work out. H still recovering from knee surgery (maybe I should stop kicking him in it...just kidding) and a remodeling slowed us down. Maybe next year.<P>Sorry you are so down, hope the meds help. Maybe school and a more structured schedule will help, too.<P>Have you read wasstubborn and my new threads on the Forgiveness Workbook and Legitimate Anger? You might find them interesting.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hi Chris -<P>Love the pictures, probably as close to Old Faithful as I'll ever get!!! Oh well, hey - never say never, right!! The sunset is beautiful. My favorite is the old time Western one - you all look so great!!! The beartrap one - couldn't enlarge it but it looks so huge!! Just how big are those bears, anyway?????<P>I was thinking, on your last thread someone mentioned talking with Dr. Harley again. I think it might be a good idea because your situation is unique in that your Wife's not around.<BR>It's like She's on a big adventure and you and the kids are left in the stranded time tunnel......There must be something that could be said to her to get her thinking on what she's going to do with regards to her family...<P>What do you think? <P>Hugs and Strength,<P>Sheba<P>

Hi Chris,<BR> Great pix!!.....as said above your girls are gorgeous....<BR> Glad you are back on board here, hopefully this will all end soon for you (the pain that is). I had a terrible time on Paxil, made me feel extremely anxious....felt better being depressed!<BR> Hang in there....hope you're feeling better soon.... Lu<BR> PS You look like you write, ...just how I pictured you!

hi chris, so glad the pix are up!! WIll go peek at them asap. <BR>Sometimes the ssri's need to be changed or supplemented. When do you go back to doc? If not within a couple weeks, can you call?<BR>Missed ya.<BR>Feel for your daughter. She is having a rough time. Hard developmental time her to have this happen, but you are a great dad. Hope she will open up to you or maybe to sil?

Great Pictures!!!!<P>I read your daughter's comment on another thread. Then I heard something fantastic on the radio pertinent to the comment she made.<P>Problem is I remembered it was fantastic - but can't remember what was said......<P>#!#$*(()#*()@!

Chris,<BR> About w. <BR> About girls, you may need those guns you all posed with, from the looks of them you will need the guns and the bear trap, maybe a couple of baseball bats too when they get a little older to keep the guys away. They are beautiful. <P>------------------<BR>Just call me - Deb<BR>------------------------<BR>The only day I can do anything about is today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet mine.<P>

Chris,<BR>I must concur with the majority here.... your girls are BEAUTIFUL! <BR>The pics are great! I have been there .... oh so long ago (about 15-16 years ago)... and these pics brought back some good memories for me. I have one of those old time photos too, and I must say that one is my favorite. <BR>I agree w/ Lu.... you look just like I had you pictured in my mind! <BR>As for the baseball bats.... my friend said when his daughter gets older (about 12) he is going to wrap the house in barbed wire and start crushing BC pills in her breakfast cereal !! LOL LOL.... <BR>I know you have been hanging in there.... so I won't repeat it again.... but keep looking up. <BR>God Bless you & the girls,<BR>Butterfly<P>------------------<BR>My favorite quote....<BR>"Hello, this is God. I will be handeling your problems today. I will not need your help, so sit back and have a good day."<BR>

Sheba, I fixed the bear trap picture. It catches the bear alive so they can transport it far away from people.<P>cl, I go back to the Dr on 15 Sep to evaluate the meds.<P>tnt, Sounds real interesting!<BR>Oh, by the way. Did you see that movie with those two guys and they did that stuff over at that place? LOL <P>Two days after we moved into our house here, there were 8 boys hanging out by the mailbox. Talked to my neighbor and he said there were no girls living on the street, only boys. Gee, is this going to be fun or what?<P>I still like the line from the movie “Clueless“. The dad tells his daughters date, “I have a gun & a shovel & I know how to use them both.”<P>Talked with a lawyer on Friday & another today for preventive measures. Nothing new. They said I am doing everything I need to be doing short of filing for divorce. Said I should have no problem getting sole custody of the kids.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Yessss!!! there's that HUMOR!!!<P>Thank you GOD!!<P>I'm glad you explained the trap cuz I was picturing these prehistoric size bears running around!!!!!<P>No thoughts on Harley!!<P>

I've just gotta join in, your girls are BEAUTIFUL, they have killer smiles. They are very lucky to have such a great dad. <BR>I really feel for you and your daughters - you cant MAKE your wife see what she's missing but boy one day she will. How can she not. Sad thing is by that time it may be too late...

About talking with Steve Harley. Yeah, I have thought about it. There is not much I can do at this point except start Plan B. Don’t know if I’m ready for that yet. I still feel pretty good (relatively speaking).

Chris, I'm just curious - have you put a time limit on how long you will wait? If so, does she know it? I'm also wondering how would you describe your W as a mother before her affair. Am I correct that she hasnt had much contact w/your girls since her affair. You seem to be such a devoted father. Magoskid

See - this is where I get confused!!<P>Even though you are in Plan A - the reality of your situation pretty much plays out like Plan B cuz she's not in too much contact and when she is , it's mostly with or about the girl's - right?<P>So that's why I think that Harley should come up with another approach for you - your special!!!! (Smiley Face)<P>Yes? No? Don't Care????<P>

Time limit? Well, right now I’m willing to try a year of Plan B when I get to it. I know it won’t be easy by any means. The guy in SAA did it for quite awhile & he was really getting screwed over by his wife. Mine is just gone.<P>I told her I would wait for 6 months at least, maybe longer.<P>Before the affair I think she was a pretty good mother. Looking back over the last few years, I think she has been distancing herself from the kids a bit. Don’t know if it was intentional, but it was there. I always did the school things with the kids, I took them to the Dr, etc. She was a good Mom to them though when she was available.<P>No not much contact. She left 17 Feb. She calls 1-2 times a week. She was here for a week end of May and saw them 5 times. That’s all.<P>I am an extremely devoted father. I love my daughters more than anything & I would do anything for them. After I told them about their Mom, I promised them I would never leave them to make sure they wouldn’t worry about me leaving too.

Sheba, we posted at the same time.<P>Okay, Plan C (for Chris ).<P>Yeah, it’s pretty much a Plan B. I am not filling any of her needs except for taking care of the family and all that entails. We only talk for a few (2-5) minutes. How’s work, are the girls okay, yada, yada, yada.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html</A>

Chris, <P>I concur, your girls are cute. Also, I have started keeping track of those nice fatherly lines like you mentioned in Clueless. You forgot to add the part about, "...I doubt anyone would miss you." You could always go for the line in Hamlet "Get thee to a nunery and hurry!".<P>Great pictures from your trip. Where those from a digital camera or did you scan them?<P>Chris you are a great example of perserverance. I know God will honor all that you are doing and your time will come one way or another. For now, I know you are being a wonderful example to your girls and a very needed resource here at MB.<P>God bless.<P>SHA <p>[This message has been edited by Sir Hurts Alot (edited August 24, 1999).]

Chris,<BR> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> Looking back over the last few<BR> years, I think she has been distancing herself from the kids a bit. Don’t know if it was<BR> intentional, but it was there. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>My H did the same thing. Sometimes I think there is more to this than just the OP, the marriage, or even depression - I wonder if they are having a hard time coping with the responsibility of a family. Did you feel that your wife was distancing herself from you, too, before the affair began? I noticed the distancing from the kids long before he started acting withdrawn from me, which was right after the affair started. Up until then, I hadn't noticed any major change in his behavior toward me, though he has been irritable and short-tempered, maybe almost forever.<p>[This message has been edited by Nellie1 (edited August 24, 1999).]