Plan A is supposed to only be for a short duration!!!! I've been plan a'ing since last September....this is very depressing. I think I am beginning to have unkind thoughts towards my H, but like a lot of you I am afraid of Plan B. I'm very lonely tonight, H is a trucker and is usually home on Friday nights but tonight he called and said he was still in Truckee and that I should pick him up at 6:30 tomorrow morning in Fresno (California). That's where we live. He said he didn't want to disturb my sleep. Two weeks ago he went out on a Friday night and stayed out all night long...said he was drinking with the guys...I know the OW has called him....her number was on the received calls list on his cell phone on July 9th.....I am afraid, I am very afraid that this whole thing is starting over and that I can't handle it this time......

Stella,<P>I don't have any good advice for you, just know that you are not alone in your depression w/plan a. It is a very hard thing and if I had the answers I would gladly share them.<P>Try not to jump to conclusions. July 9th was a month ago, it's possible there has been no contact since then. Perhaps you could (very gently) tell him that it makes you nervous when he stays out on Friday's, and that you would appreciate it if he would try to be home. Try not to be too demanding about it, just let him know that it bothers you. Hopefully, he won't get defensive.<P>I hope things are brighter in the morning.<P>Steve

Hey Stella,<P>I know how you feel. Plan A simply ain't for wimps. None of this is, huh.<P>I think if this turns around for my H and I, I will Plan A him the rest of my life. I also feel if it doesn't turn around, whoever IS in my life I will Plan A them too. It does seem to work, just getting the results from a WS or RBS (resistant [censored] spouse) is another story.<P>Sorry fro you frustration, Hon. Eat some Haagen Daaz, it helps me. <P>Jo

Resilient,<P>ROFL!! I'll have to remember that one .

Stella, hang in there and keep up plan A, especially avoiding the LB's.. If you can plan A, I think it is the way to go.

Outside of Plan A, can you work or plan on something to help alleviate your lonliness, since he's a trucker and it is likely to occur fairly often? A hobby, working out, a special interest group, girl's night out (be careful!)? Because it might not be what he is actually doing, it is how you are reacting (as if he could be re-starting the affair). You can't control what he does, but you can work on your emotions and reactions.<P>My H resumed his affair after breaking it off, a couple times. It was hell, but nearly a year later from the last time, we're doing much better.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Let love be genuine...hold fast to what is good; love one another." Rom 12:9-10

Thank you everyone for responding....I do feel a lot better today. I was just going thru a rough spot I guess. I do beleive in Plan A.....I have been getting a mostly positive reaction from my H.....It's just very hard to keep up. <P>Since my H is on the road all week, I have been trying to do more with family and friends. I had keep myself isolated for a long time. My H is very supportive of me taking classes, spending time with my mom etc. And i think it does make me a more interesting person.. Thanks again for all the support I have gotten here at MB for the last year!!! I love you guys.<P>