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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 71
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 71 |
My H keeps telling everyone how he wishes we could be friends. I am really trying hard to be just that but he is the one who does not seem able to cope with it. Is this normal. Whenever I do anything nice he ignores it. Whenever I smile at him he looks at the floor. Everynight when he phones the children he asks if I want to speak to him - I try to say no on most occasions and limit it to once or sometimes twice a week.<P>Can anyone throw any light on this for me because I find it very confusing.<P>I am also struggling with him seeing the children. Do not get me wrong I do not want to stop him seeing the children but I find it difficult. I miss them like crazy and I dread the day that they may have to see OW. He has now been living with her for 4months. Can he really still be in a fog.<P>A
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 996
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 996 |
Don't ya just love that...they want to be friends. Friends just don't treat friends this way.<P>It's a feel good society we have and there seems to be nothing stopping us from behaving this way. Everyone just says "well, it happens"... "do what makes you happy"<P>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!<P>I also have a hard time being "friends", especially since h and I were before this happened. We talked all the time. HE seems to forget that now. Then he said everything I said bugged him (that's because he needed to push me away so he could focus on OW). Why would I want to be friends.<P>Anyway, I want to at least be nice. It was hard on my kids when I wouldn't talk to him. It broke my 5 year old's heart. It just is not a good situation (plan B) when you have kids.<P>And yes, he most likely is in the fog.
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 71
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 71 |
Thanks for that tootrusting.<P>It really hurts when he asks us to be friends and I try my hardest to be nice but he will not reciprocate. <P>I had to pick up our too youngest children today and when I met him I hugged him. Just the sort of hug I give any friend. He could not look at me he merely looked at his feet. I really am beginning to think that he wants nothing more to do with me.<P>Take care<P>A
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 574
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Joined: Jul 1999
Posts: 574 |
My husband told me a few weeks ago that he hoped we would always be friends because that is one thing we have always been to eachother. You are right friends don't treat other friends this way and I told him that. <BR>I think that for your kids sake a type of friendship has to be there because it is so hard to see Mom and Dad hate eachother. I will probably never totally shut my H out of my life but as far as being friends in the way he wants to be friends I just don't see it.
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,075
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Joined: Jul 2000
Posts: 1,075 |
4 months isnt' long. He's probably still in the fog. My H lived with OW for 5 months. Whe H first decided he didnt' want to be married he told me we'd always be friends. LOL LOL! With friends like that who needs enemies! I told him in no uncertain terms "I love you, I will do anything to save our marriage, but if we get divorced we will NEVER be friends. I can't be friends wiht someone who has ripped my heart out of my chest and destroyed my life." No way he was going to get off easy on that. Luckily he came to his senses. Plan A is hard work but it can be very effective.
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