HI there, <BR> Just wanted to say if you are feeling hopeless and can't seem to get out of it, maybe you could call Steve H. I did today after months of putting it off....what a relief.....we have a plan instead of aimlessly trying to make this work, and I feel so much better "dumping" it on him! instead of me trying and trying to fix things!!!.....It was hard for me to be objective about everything and I feel clearer and more HOPEFUL.....so if anyone is considering it DO IT!!!! Lu

Lu,<P>Is your H still home?? I had a first session with Steve this week and another one this Friday, but my H is gone from home. You sound so upbeat and hopeful - I think I am at the last resort - real PlanB stage. <P>Can you give us an overview of your session, please?<P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hi Roll Me Away,<BR> <BR> First of all I want to thank YOU for getting me to call Steve....I had been tossing it around for months and decided to do it when I saw your posts. Secondly, I had done counseling with Steve last year when this all started (discovered the affair)....he was supportive and gave GREAT advice. He helped me with Plan B(and it worked) but after my H came back in April and we moved out of state I thought I could do this recovery thing on my own....WRONG. <BR> <BR> Anyway,things just have deteriorated in recovery ,....I felt more anger and sadness than ever but kept trying this and that- everything seemed to be spiraling down. These last few weeks I have thought about leaving and just felt hopeless. So with one call to Steve he was objective , hopeful and took the burden off of me to be the one to "fix things".....I would advise you to take his advice as best as you can , nothing is set in stone and I think if things don't work he finetunes the plan......Good luck to you and hang in there........LU

Lu,<P>I'm glad that you got some hope out of your session. And I'm glad that you posted your follow-up; cause I could have sworn that you had done counseling with Steve previously. But I'm having a hard time remembering... This is nearly my 2000th post---I hope I'm P2K compliant!!!

Hi K,<P> I sure did counseling with Steve before and thought since I knew everything "he was going to say " we could do this on our own. I should've known better!!!.... after my H came back in April we went to a local counselor who told my H he needed to express his creativity(say what?) and to release his feminine side!!....should'a called Steve way back then. Anyway, I feel as if a HUGE burden is off my shoulders and it feels good to have some kind of structured plan.......hope you're compliant too!!!!AND I'm glad you have been sticking around offering hope to us here!!! Lu

Lu,<P>Well if my sad story helped someone, I can at least be glad about that.<P>Yes, I know I need an objective person. I am going to counseling here in Atlanta, too. But, spending time on building a better and stronger me in those sessions.<P>How long were you in PlanB? What do you think made your H come home? <P>In my heart of hearts I believe my H really loves me but is "lost" right now. What I can not discount, however, is that my H may STAY lost forever and never come back. I have gone from self-confident to confused, self-doubting and double guessing everything I am doing these days. A sad, sad sight....<P>If you can think of anything to help me here, I would appreciate it.....<P>Roll me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Can you tell me how much this cost you? I'm really curious.

Sheryl,<P>$85 per session, I think. I just gave my credit card number. My local counseling is covered by my health insurance and I pay a $10 co-pay per visit. Sessions with Steve are will be footed by me. But, I thought to myself - if I do 4 - 5 sessions that would only cost several hundred dollars. A small price to pay to get me going in the right direction. I know I can't make my H come home, but if it fails, I will feel I truly did EVERYTHING I was able to do. That's all I can do. I guess a small price topay for some peace of mind....<P>Desiree<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Hi RMA,<P> I know the feeling....I used to be a decisive ,confident person until this all happened and well, you know! Anyway, the affair was discovered last Dec.(it had been going on 11/2yr.) and one counselor said he had never seen a person (my H) as infatuated as he was and to prepare for divorce. After counseling with Steve I did 5 horrible months of Plan A(I wasn't too good at it, I was a mess) and then Plan B. Steve helped me set up the conditions of Plan B, visitation, the letter, $ etc......my H came back in 2 weeks, it was a strict Plan B with virtually no contact except for kids. He said reality came crashing down, the kids, the lack of $, not speaking to me .....hang in there , there is HOPE... <P> NB,<P> As RMA said $85 , a divorce will be much more costly, ...you don't have much to lose by giving it a shot....You have tried and tried , maybe it's time for someone else to figure it out for you?(I think you're alot like me, always trying to fix everything) LU<P>