He has e-mailed me three times this morning. I haven't responded yet. He asked if I got any sleep, yeah right I am going on 5 hours in three days. Then the rest was FYI information regarding the boys and his schedule.<P>This is tough!!!! I am here instead of e-mailing him back, help me get more strenght not to e-mail him or call him. Support really needed. I love him and this is the pits!!!!! Can't be and won't be a door mat.<P>Judy<P>Judy

Welcome to the time of "opening his eyes". Your taking a stand has set him in a state of panic. It's extremely important that you don't cave in now. He needs to know that you mean it. I'm sorry if I have a hard time following stories on here but I'm in and out. Your husband is the one that is having an affair with a woman who is pregnant by her husband. Correct?

BonnieSept:<P>Yes, my husband is having the affair with a pregnant women (by her h as you stated).<P>If I remember right you married your OM? I am glad you can help on this site. From what I have seen your postings is support for not having an affairs. To me that is great. I am not trying to flame by wirting that, I just think it is great.<P>How did you come up with your username?<P>Judy

Judy..<P>I think you should consider sending him a Plan B letter so he'll know and understand your stance. I'm sure you know that Plan B consists of letting a spouse know you love them and would like to repair the marriage, but cannot continue to have contact with them until they have eliminated the relationship with the OP, and committed to the marriage and to a recovery plan. If that is what you are trying to convey, there are some sample plan B letters somewhere on that forum.<P>Meanwhile, I'm with you...ignore those emails.<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi<P>

Yes I did marry the other man and yes I am against affairs. I don't regret being married to my husband but I do wish it would have came about a different way. Affairs are extremely painful for ALL involved. I went from a life that was just "normal", you know, nice neighborhood, good job, 2 beautiful kids , wonderful family and friends to a few years of emotional hell. Being involved in an affair is an emotional hell (especially when you want out of your marriage and you don't know how to do it), and divorce is hell. I don't want to go into details again, but my husband and I were deeply in love and still are and we almost didn't make it. I see so many on this board that have a spouse who thinks they love another or I see some on this board that think they are in love with somebody else and I can just tell they are not going to end up like I did. My husband's ex wanted to save their marriage when he confessed the affair and I walked away from him because of that. I know about the Plan A things that she tried. What worked and what actually pushed him away. I'm getting off the subject now. For you, I truly believe your husband will come around but not if you give him the impression you'll keep forgiving and will be there no matter what behavior he presents to you. His situation is extremely unusual since the OW is pregnant with her husband's child.

BonnieSept:<BR>I am glad you are here, thanks for your support.<P><BR>kam6318:<BR>I will find a sample letter and send it to him. I want to recover, and I know what needs to be done from both of us. We both need to work equally. <P>I hate what this will do to our kids.<P>Judy