Well hadn't heard from H all day ( was supposed to be going to the cinema) left msgs for him on his cellphone,finally he called to say he was on his way.<BR>He walked in,almost in tears saying he'd had an awful day and was sorry but he couldn't go out tonight.He'd had a panic attack and was talking to a councillor-who he's seeing for the first time this week !I was so pleased he's talking to someone,its a real big step for him.he also said he felt bad as he'd promised to take me out and he didn't want to tell me over the pohne,so he drove 40 miles just to tell me why he couldn't go,and has said instead he'll take me wednesday night.<BR>he said seeing his friend thurday upset him (his friend hasn't been in contact with us since i told him about H's affair and H dinds it difficult to deal with)plus another friend of ours was due to come and stay this weekend and phoned to see what the latest news was,and i had to tell them the whole story-they called H and it brought it all back to him as he knew he had to go through it all again.<BR>he said he'd spent all day trying to write a reply to my letter i gave him a while ago,but couldn't get it right,he'd been advised by his councillor to reply as he can't say to me what he wants.i jokingly said i hope its good news and he said yes !I told him he didn't have to reply,i didn't intend him to,but he says he wants to try and answer my questions like i tried for him.<BR>Now i just feel so pleased,he seemed happier when he left-think he expected me to be upset he couldn't go out tonight,the fact he drove all that way to cancel meant a lot,plus he's finally taken the step to see someone.I really feel like we achieved something today,he wasn't here long,but i think (fingers crossed) he might give me good news in his letter,at least he might want to try again.<BR>Its his birthday tomorrow,i gave him his present,nothing huge,but something he'll find funny,will speak to him tomorrow,but won't se him til wednesday.suddenly i feel like laughing again-bizarre as we didn't go out,but i take what he's done today to be a big step forward,what do you think ? <BR> <BR>
