Help! I'll give a little background since all of the profiles are unavailable, and I've only posted a couple of times.....<P>H is having affair, EA since Jan, PA since March. Discovery April 2. Every deadline we set for a decision has come and gone, and H still "doesn't know" what he wants. Have been trying very hard to plan A through this time, and have been much more successful the last 6 weeks or so (Paxil really kicked in!). Have had a couple of episodes of LBing, one last night. When these occur, he says that he's going to leave, but then when things get better, he says he doesn't know what he wants.<P>Last week got email from him that says that I've made big changes, but he just doesn't know if they're permanent, or just a show. I've assured him that they're here to stay!! (attitude, nagging, lost 70 pounds, etc.)<P>Even after bad night last night, as I was leaving the house this morning, I gave him a kiss and he gave me a really big hug and kissed me back (which rarely happens anymore) and told me that I looked nice. (I was wearing a new dress, that if I have to say so myself, looks pretty darn good!)<P>He had been gone for 2 weeks in Florida on business (I found out OW was with him the last trip because they work together, and he lied about it), and when he returned on Friday, initiated making love. When I start LBing, though, he says it's all a mistake and it will never happen again. Funny thing is, though, is it always does happen again....<P>Help---I don't know how to interpret any of this. There's good things, but then he still says that he just doesn't think he can stay, even for the kids. What do I do and how do I begin to set boundaries for myself????? <P>Is it too early for Plan B? <P>I seem to do much better emotionally when he's not around, but am not ready to ask him to leave.<P>Any advice will be so appreciated---I'm hanging by a thread and it's beginning to break!

Hi there-<P>I hate to say so but you and your H are doing nothing more than playing a vicious game that will if it hasn't already become a pattern of behaviour for the both of you. I say this from experience.<P>When we end every arguement or fight with a threat of leaving or divorce it soon becomes a terrible pattern. And especially if there are kids that hear this.<P>I suggest you try plan A and work on bettering your own self as you can not change anyone but you. You will be a much happier person if you are getting your happiness from within.<P>Please try and read all of the Harley stuff and see if you can't make soemthing better out of what sounds like a terrible situation.<P>Good luck-<P><P>------------------<BR>*heartache*<BR>"Loyalty Is A Two Way Street"<BR>