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#39550 12/08/99 06:12 PM
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It has been six months for me since D-day and am still having a difficult time, but it has gotten better for me. My problem is that the OW was my daughter's friend's mother. The mother manipulated a friendship between the two girls and then one with me when what she really was after was my life. If she only knew...<BR>My problem now is that I have to constantly see her at school, social events and activities. I am finding this difficult. <BR>I also feel for my daughter as she has lost a "friend." does one get past this? I just want to scream at her when I see her. Thank God so far I have controlled myself but I feel ready to do something silly. She just hurt my family so much.

#39551 12/08/99 07:01 PM
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Naive,<P>I wish I had some advise for you. The only thing I can think of is to not let this woman know she fazes you one bit. She'd probably enjoy that.<P>I have never seen my husbands OW and I'd like to tell her a thing or two and see if she has any remorse. Still not sure that is the best thing to do. Truth is I haven't had the gutts yet and I want to give her no reason to contact my husband.<P>Your husband's OW has hurt you and your whole family so much. I know. <P>Wish I had better advise. Hold your head up high. You are right she is dead wrong.<P><P>------------------<BR>God bless you and all of us.<P>Samantha<BR>

#39552 12/08/99 07:10 PM
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how hard for you to have to see and deal with her all the time.<P>Thankfully, I have no idea what OW looks like. I have spoken to her on a few occasions (4) and let her know what I think. No swearing, shouting or name calling, but there was no remorse or guilt on her part.<P>I didn't ring her looking for an apology - just to let her know what I thought of her.<BR>now she knows. I feel indifferent - it didn't change anything at all.<P>Just my experience of these slugs.<P>Jo

#39553 12/08/99 07:44 PM
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Well I will chime in here. Actually I see the OM everyday. He was a friend of mine at work who manupulated me to get to my wife. He went as far as to "help me" with our mariatal problems. All the while moving in on her. He knew exactly what to provide for her from me. Well so far I have yelled at him in private to blow off some anger. I have also wrote him a very nasty letter, which caused him to show up at my doorstep one night after reading it. Nothing happened but we talked, argued, and I told him that yes we have to work together, but I will never be even an acqaintence to him again. Most of the time when I go to work I just ignore him. He may say "hi" and I will just walk by saying nothing. I have found that ignoring him works pretty well. I have also found that being really happy at work and doing my job to the fullest(his marriage is on the rocks too) is a very nice way of rubbing it in. Kind of a "Ha, ha, she's with me and you lost". Petty I know, but helpful none the less. It also was nice to here my wife say things about him now that she realizes them. Stuff like "He was just using me for sex and I see that now". I am debating on telling him that too, but I don't think I want to start anything else with him. So I guess all in all the best approach after you get stuff off of your chest is just to ignore them. Then make the best damn life you can for yourself, that will definately get them in the end. <P>"He who laughs last, laughs loudest"

#39554 12/08/99 08:38 PM
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Thank you for the response. I am wondering if confronting relieved any of the hurt, the pain and the anger. Is it worth it or better to just ignore the ow? Right now I am so angry at what she did I want to do things and am restraining myself. Will I feel better if I vent or should I just move on... I don't know if I can with her presence constantly in my life and no confrontation.


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