Hey Jill-<P>Now don't go saying anything applies to you.<P>Maybe I am still being naive (no way) but I think most of us aren't even going to know what we have until we are married. And then the "real" personalities come out and we discover things we didn't know existed.<P>Heck-I am sure my EX saw me change too. Although I can say I did want to try and I did everything to try to make my marriage work. But the simple "how was your day" question would set him off. I eventually lost all and any feeling I had for the man. It makes me sad for him-because he once was a super human being and now he is a hot headed temper flaring no good person.<P>I am sure that we grow wiser to some extent as we grow older but I don't really think we need to blame age on all our problems.<P>Keep your chin up girl. We all have problems. As good as H and I are doing I am still struggling to get through one lousy day without constant thoughts of the OW-who I really miss. She was a good friend and I miss her almost every day.<P>I have to struggle with the fact that I will go on missing her until I can forget her because I haven't got the room in my heart to ever look at her face again. Like many here say-she took the most valuable thing that belonged to me. <P>My H screwed up-and he screwed up big time. He admits it and will not stop trying to make things right again.<P>I can't simply stop loving him because he had an affair. If I could cut ties that easily I would have been with way too many men by this time <P>However-there won't be a good enough excuse if this ever happens a second time. No way, no how and no where. He knows that and I know that. As much as I love him I too love my self and I will not let my heart ever feel that torment and pain ever again.<P>Take it slow my friend-and remember you have prayers going in all directions for YOU <P>HUGS