Hello all,<BR>I posted here earlier in the year. My wife had an affair with a friend of mine for about two years. In May, she led me to believe that it was all over, and we were actually making significant progress in our recovery. <P>This past Tuesday, I found out that she has been in constant contact with the OM all this time. I feel like a am even further behind than I was in January upon discovery. Does this EVER stop? <P>When I confronted her with her contact, she denied everything until I called the calling card company with the card she had been using and obtained the telephone numbers she had been dialing. She called him twice that day even!<P>After that, she admitted everything. I asked her what her intentions were, and she told me she was going to call him to come and get her. She has been deceiving me all this time. I feel so low today, I just don't know what to do.<P>My children and I are devestated! <P>Funny thing, though, after all this time, she would never even consider any of the Harley methods, and when she came to visit us the other day, I asked her to read "Surviving an Affair". She is now on page 24.<P>

Scanman...<BR>I DO indeed recall you. And, I am sorry to hear the new news...I know others here have worked thru this kind of continued contact. <P>Hey, at least she's reading SAA...maybe that is a good sign. <P>I can't remember if you had worked with a counselor...I would suggest you consider calling the Harleys for some advice as to this development.<P>I am really so sorry to hear this...<P>{{{{{{{{{{scanman}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>Kathi

scanman:<P>Just recently (two weeks)the same thing happened to me, except I walked into them at home. <P>This has been an eye wakening experience for all. Many details I won't get into. <P>But best thing for you to remember you can't control any one actions but your own. Just take care of yourself. <P>It is sad and I really understand what a big let down it is when you think you are in recovery. But not all is lost, she still loves you remember that. She probably didn't want to hurt you and was trying to protect you from the truth. It isn't the best way to protect you but while the affair is going on but they think this is best. If she didn't want you still in her life she would have told you along time ago. <P>I have been told it all, so many things they tell you that isn't themselves. Also the om hasn't even show the real person he is, she only knows the best of him. Reality does set in eventually and they aren't the perfect person anymore. What is sad it takes time for this to be understood.<P><BR>If you have questions, let me know. <P>Be good to yourself.<P>Judy<P>

Thank You for the replies kam6318 and bighope. <P><BR>Kam6318 - I have been seeing a Psychologist ever since January of this year to help cope with my own problems and my marriage woes. If she continues to read the book, I am hoping there is a chance that she would consider some Harley counselling sessions.<P>I am now Plan Aing my little heart out, like there is no tomorrow. My wife is on page 38 of Surviving an Affair. I hope she takes it to heart.<P>I just spoke to her on the phone. She sounded as if she had been crying and she said that she was just sitting there thinking about everything. <P>What a roller coaster this is.<P>Thank you all for replying and your kindness.

Hey, at least she is doing some thinking...<P>That seems like a good sign.<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi

scanman:<P>That is a baby step, keep looking for them.<P>Best wishes,<P>Judy