To: Panna1016@aol.com <BR> Add Addresses <BR> <P><BR>Amanda,<P>Thank you for replying, let me share a couple of<BR>things with you, first of allI want you to go to a<BR>website call marriagebuilders.com adn read about how<BR>affairs start, (usually in the workplace) and the<BR>dynamics of them and how they occur, why and what they<BR>are all about, and the intense emotions involved in<BR>them, the escapism and the withdrawal period (which<BR>Joe is in) and everythign involved...Maybe since you<BR>have been part of an afafir and the destruction it<BR>cause you can learn from this to help you to never get<BR>in this postion again and learn what you need to for<BR>the time when you are married so it doesn't ahppen to<BR>you...God forbid, it is too painful, secondly please<BR>take a look at the "infidelity' board and read some of<BR>the peoples posts onthere so you can see the pain they<BR>are in...FOR NOTHING as people are IDIOTS that do this<BR>****....there comes a point in yourlife when all of<BR>this bull**** becomes to costly and tehre is no room<BR>for games anymore....Joe is psychologically screwd up,<BR>no doubt about it, he can write all the letters witha<BR>ll teh explanations he wants, but teh point is he IS a<BR>grown man that had for all intensive purposes a Wife<BR>and a home and family obligations....there was a lot<BR>of love and a bond there...and his future which is now<BR>****ED in many many ways..beleive me...the ONLY time<BR>we fought EVER after all of tghe years was when he got<BR>involved at the grocery store, which was a job we got<BR>him to go to school..he DID NOT..discuss his problems<BR>with me so we could work them out he sat around a<BR>lunch table wiht Robin and You and others and blabbed<BR>all of his ****, I am SURE with a spin on it and<BR>allowed himself to become a cheating, lying<BR>dishonorable *******..and he was told it was "ok" and<BR>encouraged to do the lamest **** by these losers..<BR>IGNORANCE TO THE MAX! I KNOW HIM WAY beeter than you<BR>(no offense but it's true0)and I know what he or any<BR>decnet man is SUPPIOSED TO AND NOT SUPPOSED TO<BR>DO...YOU DO NOT WALK OUT OF YOUR HOME, LEAVE YOUR ILL<BR>PARTNER BEHIND TO GO AND SCREW AROUND WITH A KID YOU<BR>MET A WORK!! AND CAUSE UNTOLD TRAUMA AND SUFFERING AND<BR>DESRTUCTION TO HIS LIFE, MINE AND OTHER PEOPLE THAT<BR>ARE AFFECTED! AND LOSE YOUR HOME IN THE PROCESS... NO<BR>WAY IN HELL IS THAT RIGHT! I'M SORRY! I don't CARE<BR>WHAT his "feelings " are...his "FEELINGS" are abiut<BR>HIMSELF...he wanted to feellike a MAN so he picked<BR>someone younger that would "look up" to him and not<BR>SEE what he is supposed to be doing...LOL I mean, it<BR>is HARDER to do thr right thing and be honorable and<BR>take care of your life and your home (which actuallly<BR>is the key to real happiness) than to "run away" like<BR>a cowardly weakling so you can screw and have an<BR>affair and get all emotional and dramaed out so you<BR>have a some irrational ****ing excuse for not being<BR>healthy and responsible ....****...how ****ing lame!<BR>Can you see that? Picture you sisters husband at work<BR>writing his heart out about how in love he is with the<BR>person he worked with that moved away and all his<BR>painand problems with her and how he needs to just be<BR>on his own...blah blah blah..COME ON! Give me a<BR>****ign break...your sister and her house and her baby<BR>and there he is like an ******* pining away for a<BR>diversion from reality...which when faced can be the<BR>key to a really good life...Joe's running and hiding<BR>because he ****ed up, he doesn't want to face me<BR>because he's not ready to accpet what he did, he's<BR>writing to you as he's totally confused about the<BR>right things he should be doing in life...and he is<BR>angry and irrational towards me to keep himself in his<BR>mind in some kind of justified superior position,<BR>which is delusional as he was such an *******...he<BR>really was.. and is still being...he has no excuse fo<BR>rhis behavior at all...and if you don't see it now,<BR>you will find out in time that the guy really has some<BR>issues to work out....I am not jealous that he was<BR>after you I am angry at his inability to stop doing<BR>stupid **** that is hurtin ghim and others...I mean<BR>what issues doyou and I have other than the fact that<BR>you had sex with my "husband" (ugh gross<BR>thought..sorry but it's true) and their is just so<BR>much worng with that, it doesn't make you better or<BR>whatever, it makes me think how sick he is..truly,<BR>because it was so so so incredibly wrong...and only<BR>time will make this evident BELEIVE ME! I know the<BR>emotions are strong...but if the man cannot face the<BR>wife he had for 10 years after all the pain he caused<BR>and can sit and write letters and chase the person who<BR>unfortunaltey became involved in his fall from honor,<BR>then what could he possibly do for you? Ultimatley?<BR>Think about it...this is reallife Amanda, thsi ****<BR>counts, it hurts and it causes untold grief and<BR>suffering, it's not "fun and games: I am deeply<BR>wounded and disappointed and disturbed that the person<BR>I love is so incredibly screwed up and will NEVE Rbe<BR>the same and need a lot of counseling to return to<BR>health...and that is what I am trying to do, it's not<BR>about ****ing, or "getting together" or whatever, it<BR>is about the stability of home, family, partnership,<BR>friendship, honor, respect and over all being well<BR>and healthy so you can have a solid life...this is<BR>down right dangerous and scary behavior....and I am<BR>not immature by any means....I know what I am and I<BR>knwo my worth, I don't get caught up in "whiose"<BR>better as I know am I am the better person for Joe I<BR>always was and have been...and even now I am to help<BR>him, as I am stronger and I know him better...but at<BR>the same time, he is a man and he needs to do his part<BR>and if he continues to be a coward, dishonorable and<BR>weak....then sadly tha tis waht I am dealin with and<BR>that is what kills me as that is what I never wanted<BR>fo rhim, to be so pathetic....he doesn't know what<BR>being a man is yet, it's not being with someone i<BR>nalesserpostion in life (well thats debatable now<BR>considering hsi postion , what I mean is in terms<BR>oflife experience) instead of dealing with he has to<BR>face....becasue you'll get there and he'll run on you,<BR>mark my words..anyway, this is my ngithmare and I am<BR>about sick of it...I don't need Joes admiration I need<BR>his recognition of what is going on here..and that<BR>takes longer more patience more time..but at the end<BR>of it all this is my life too and I deserve a storng<BR>healthy man that can stand by me have a good life and<BR>a solid home and enjoy life...being strong is not<BR>about working out physically, it has to do with your<BR>mind, morals values and the way you take<BR>responsibility for your actions, because they can hurt<BR>people, thats strength..you have it I think, and I<BR>ahve it he has yet to realize what it is he needs to<BR>do and it's certainly not trying to get into your<BR>pants...you don't think that he hurt you, but in years<BR>to come or maybe sooner you will see that he realyl<BR>did, because you'll understand allof this...and how<BR>could you ahve a realtionship with him anyway and feel<BR>good about yourself knowing what he did (I know you<BR>said your not going to ) don't forget one thing....I<BR>didn't know he was "doing' you until 2 weeks after he<BR>walked out of OUR home of 10 years and I saw you with<BR>him on my birthday...he slept with me every night<BR>(almost ) months leading up to that and didnt say A<BR>WORD..SO...do you still believe his letters and<BR>bull****? Think about it...of course he's being honest<BR>with "you" as he LOVES you and I just don't understand<BR>and blah blah blah affair thinking..bull****, he lied<BR>to me, you and you again after he "did" two other<BR>chics, he's STILL lying to you and to me...but I<BR>unfortunatly have more invested with hom and more to<BR>take care of AND i still want to get to the bottom of<BR>many many lies I have found out about...thats why<BR>hee's running and hiding, he's afraid to face me and<BR>in the interim he "hoping" you'll feel sorry for him ,<BR>time will make it all "ok" and everything might<BR>magically work out..WELL, NO WAY IN HELL..I'LL NEVER<BR>ACCEPT WHAT HE DID AS OK NEVER..and if you were here<BR>and with him that would be the worst and most evil and<BR>selfish thing ou could of done amanada, not to mention<BR>stupid for yourself, this is no game babe, this is<BR>real **** and I am so doneiwth it, so sorry for the<BR>ranting, I still don't hold you too accountablem,<BR>becuase you did the right thign once the truth was<BR>out, you have stood your ground with him in doing the<BR>right thing, you have done the right thing by me, even<BR>although you were teh one who was involved that casue<BR>allof this pian...did any of those people or yourself<BR>ever say to Joe, "you know, why don't you go home and<BR>talk to Elizabeth about this stuff and if your having<BR>difficulty with communicating, try counseling" and<BR>left him alone? And encouraged him to be healthy and<BR>have a healthy noraml life? Now we have lost<BR>everything for what? We ahould have been left alone,<BR>but he was the one who decided to be weak and go do<BR>all of this lame ****..think aboutit, I sacrafice 10<BR>years of my life taking care of him and we go through<BR>everything grwoing up together so he can run away with<BR>someone at work, becasue he weas so bored and let down<BR>with his own pathetic self, that instead of trying<BR>harder to make his life better, he wanted to "screw"<BR>and get all emotional and **** himself and others<BR>over! ****ING GREAT! <P>Anyway. sorry for the ranting, but it so true< I KNOW<BR>what is right here and what is wrong there is no doubt<BR>in my mind...I am the one who got ****ed over here and<BR>he has to face me at some point and apologize, you<BR>Amannda are the person he cheated with, plain and<BR>simple, (in this scenario but I do care about you too)<BR>I don't care if there were feelins or not...it was<BR>wrong, NOT ROMANTIC, IT WAS NOT UNDYING LOVE...it was<BR>a self centered load of bull**** about a man not<BR>knowing the right way to build his ego in a healthy<BR>way...through RIGHT action not through taking the<BR>wrong actions that were destructive, but FED the ego,<BR>the SELF, through sex........that is NOT love,<BR>it'snot, thats about being in love with yourself, love<BR>is much more than that...<P>Anyway, I am so ill with this ****, no decent woamn<BR>needs to have to face such a weak man doing this crap<BR>in her lifetime when she works so hard and has done so<BR>much...it is pathetic....I wonder what things would be<BR>like today if he had of been a strong man and done the<BR>right things....he wouldn't ahve lost the best thing<BR>that ever happened to him, me.<P>Thanks for reading all this I'm outta here and I<BR>ahve no time for his games and ****, he needs to grow<BR>up.<P>Hope you are doing ok, better without the sweet two<BR>faced loser believe me.<BR>Eliz<P>