My H hasn't worn his wedding ring in over 25 years. His excuse for not wearing it was that it was too dangerous for him to work in, as he might hang it on something and cut his finger off. Of course, that never stopped him from wearing his Masonic ring (made like a wedding band) from only a couple of years later until the present. <P>Anyway, both our matching bands had gotten too tight, and after he gave me a CZ solitaire 15 years ago, neither of us were wearing our bands.<P>When our son married, he and his wife couldn't afford new rings, so we had ours resized and cleaned up for them. Our son and his wife divorced a couple of years ago. At that time, I told my son that I would like to have my ring back. However, since then, I changed my mind and didn't say anymore about it.<P>Well, yesterday, he handed me both of the rings. I tried wearing mine on my pinkie (his ex had really small hands), but everytime I looked at it, I thought of what it is supposed to symbolize but doesn't. I decided that I don't want to look at those rings ever again.<P>So, this evening, I was getting a ring box out of the drawer to put them in when H walked in and said, "I want to get my ring resized so I can wear it again." Well, I was sorta floored! I guess something showed on my face, because he asked, "What? I'm not supposed to want it?" I said, "No, I'm just surprised; but, I'll get it resized for you."<P>Well, I've thought about it, and I've come to the conclusion that HIS ring DOES still symbolize our vows, so I'm hoping that I'll be able to be OK with him wearing it. I put my band in the box, though, and hid it way back in his sock drawer where we won't come across it. I guess that I basically just gave it back to him without his knowing it.<P>I really want to get him a new band, but not until he wants to really recommit to me. I just hope that since his band looks just like mine, seeing it on his finger won't be a trigger for me.<P>

Sweetpea,<BR>We just put our rings back on. I had discussed new rings because looking at mine in the jewelry box gave me aversive feelings...but when Guard took the old ones out of his pocket when we were in Mexico...they looked right. I don't see the affairs when I look at them, I see the goofy, broke-spending-everything-we-had-on-them, kids we were when we picked them out. <P>We also included new vows, promises & apologies as we put them on. I'd still like to go before a pastor & redo the vows, our counselor is also an ordained pastor and has volunteered.<P>Just a view from the old ring-wearing side. <P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).

Sweetpea (let H buy you first) and Lor,<P>It will be great to rededicate in church and in front of witnesses (OW can be invited - ha ha).<P>Got to run , WS is heading my way!<P>

Lor, I guess the reason that I can't stand to look at my ring is because I want my H to officially recommit to me....and he absolutely refuses.<P>I am wearing the new diamond ring he got me for Christmas, and if he ever decides that he wants to marry me again, we'll use that one.<P>Weep, Yep, I want a whole new wedding, and you're darn tootin' that I'm gonna invite Cafe Woman...since she's supposedly just a good "friend"! That is....if we ever have the new wedding. ;( I already have a new ring, with three rows of diamonds, but I don't have the committment that goes with it. H won't even GO to anyone else's wedding. I guess he's allergic to wedding vows.

So your sons ex gave him back the wedding ring? Did he have to ask for it?<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Chris,<BR> I don't know how our son got the ring back; I didn't ask.<P> All I know is that our son's relationship with his ex seems to have stabilized somewhat. She seems to be trying to straighten her life out. At any rate, they reached an agreement on custody. It's sort of a weird arrangement. He sort of retains legal custody while they have joint physical custody, with the children living with her during the school week, although our son can and does see the kids whenever he wants. The agreement they reached contains a morals clause which states that neither of them can have overnight guests of the opposite sex while the children are present. Also, our son has the authority to remove the children from her custody if he feels that they are in an inappropriate situation. This was arranged through our attorney, and the judge approved it.<P>Anyway, I guess that he must have, at some point in time, told her that we would like to have our rings back and she finally decided to give my wedding ring back to him.<P>It may be that she's realized that he's tired of her manipulations and has moved on. Our son has a really nice girlfriend now (dated her for a while last year and just got back together); he says that he loves her and that she loves him. Son says that if he gets married again, it will most likely be to this girl, but there's no hurry.<P>Anyway, I'm rambling, but I have learned not to ask any questions. I find out more by just keeping my mouth shut and listening.