(Found this from a "Dear Abby" Column about a month ago)<P>Dear Abby: A fifth couple in our circle of friends recently ended their marriage. When I asked the husbands what happened, each said much the same thing: “When we were first married, I was the most important person in my wife’s life. With each child, my place was shifted farther and farther back until I felt totally forgotten.”<P>These husbands told me that “neglect” made them vulnerable to someone who did show them some attention. You know the rest. <P>When I asked the wives what happened, they said they didn’t know – but guessed that they “just drifted apart and their interests changed.” None of them knew how their husbands felt.<P>I have also heard women say that their affair was the result of not feeling important at home. If only both spouses knew how important a little TLC is to his or her partner there might be more lasting marriages. Abby, please warn your readers not to take their spouses for granted. Their partners should never feel they are at the bottom of the priority list.<BR>HAPPILY MARRIED HUSBAND<P><BR>DEAR HAPPILY MARRIED: While doing your research you picked up valuable information about the demise of many marriages: When the children arrive, it’s a given that life becomes busy and complicated. However, couples must make finding time for each other a priority. <P><BR>

I found this quite interesting--common sense, yes, I don't think it can be stressed enough. However, it can work both ways.<P>My husband, while leaning towards the self-serving side in all other aspects, is an excellent father. <P>Take me a couple of centuries back; the fact that I produced a son for this man has made me worthy as a female. It seems that my job is finished, more or less. I have done my part in carrying on the bloodline. I have produced an heir to the throne.<P>The child runs the household, like a little prince, son of the king.<P>Since the boy was born, we have had one single "date" without him, and that was to a BB King concert where we couldn't possilby bring the kid, anyway. We had to schedule intimacy around his naptime. His father spoils him rotten, and pines for him when they are not together.<P>I never have to encourage his father to spend time with him, which is great; however, I get left home 8 times out of 10 while they they go out and about. I am just a female.<P>That hurts, too. Especially since the boy and I are very close as well. It's either Dad and the boy, or mom and the boy. Hardly ever all three of us.<P>This is probably an unusual circumstance, so maybe I am just complaining. But in our family, or what used to be our family, it's a huge problem. <P>The reason that he broke it off with OW: he "couldn't do this to the boy;" otherwise, (in his words) he has lost out bigtime. The companionship in his life is a dead-end. That's what he told her. I was not even a factor is the "reunification."<P>Now that my husband and I are separated, I am complaining about what this is doing to the kid, and our household situation. His answer: He wants custody of the boy.<p>[This message has been edited by Bernzini (edited September 01, 2000).]