If you don't know my story...here's a brief summary. My H had a brief affair w/some skank. He ended it 9 months ago. For the last 9 months, we have been recovering and rebuilding our marriage.<P>However, just 1-1/2 weeks ago, she finds out my H's work e-mail address and writes him. Although he claims that she means nothing to him, he responds to her e-mail from our home. I found the e-mail and all hell broke loose.<P>We both wrote her the NO CONTACT letter but I am having a hard time moving on. I am so furious with him even responding to her.<P>After I write the witch NOT to contact us, she e-mails me back and tells me that she has feelings for him. From what I can tell, she has mistaken sex for love. Her statement makes me sick! I did not respond to her because I don't need to give her any power by explaining myself to her. She has no business in my private life and is a low-life nobody.<P>I'm so pissed off, that after 9 months, I have to deal with this stupid crap all over again. It's as if the clock rolled back to 9 months ago.<P>I feel my H didn't learn from the pain we endured and invited the skank to come back into our lives by e-mailing her. The jerk OW said that she wouldn't contact him anymore (where have I heard her bull before??....9 freakin' months ago!) I don't believe her! I don't want to deal with her crap another 6 months from now!<P>I am so pissed off I wish I could get a 2x4 and bash her lousy ugly face in!<P>I need help with this anger and resentment because I have so much hate in me and it isn't normal. I normally am a good person but there is so much a person can take before they explode!

NoTrust,<P>First and foremost,<P>{{{{{{{{{{<B>NoTrust</B>}}}}}}}}}}.<P>Now some ideas... try out... <A HREF="http://www.anger-stress-marriage.com" TARGET=_blank>Anger & Stress Management Communication Skills for Marriages and Relationships in Conflict</A>.<P>And maybe the book... <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0806509376" TARGET=_blank><B>Anger : How to Live With and Without It</B></A> by Albert Ellis .<P>Over and beyond that... if you're blaming your H... when you've thought about it a while... <B>and</B> he's recognized his mistake by contacting OW... do a very hard thing... <I>forgive him</I>... see...<A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com/forumlinks4.html" TARGET=_blank>Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself</A>.<P>Prayers for You! <P>Jim

NSR: Thank you for your response. I will check out those titles that you mentioned. This last attempt at contact is consuming me and making me crazy! I never knew that I could hate so much until she came into our lives.<P>And yes...I am blaming my H for 50% of the contact because instead of ignoring her (and letting me know about this last e-mail contact)....he chose to respond to her. He made it seem (to her) that it was okay for them to contact each other.<P>Geez! After 9 months of recovery and rebuilding, plus the bull crap we had to go through...I thought he would have learned....talk about stupidity!

<BR>Or far, far better, try "Healing Anger" by the Dalai Lama. Although the techniques therein may appear counterintuitive, they work wonders if applied properly.<P>

Suckerpunched: Thank you for your reply and recommending the book.

NT - Don't blame you for being angry. Anger actually can be a very positive emotion that energizes us to take needed action. As long as it doesn't turn into rage, which just wants to express itself and seldom accomplisues anything positive. Do you think maybe you overreacted just a mite? Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex

No Trust,<P>You have every right to be angry. Release the anger as best you can without resorting to violence. Once you are back in control, then sit down with H and calmly discuss the fact that he broke the NO CONTACT agreeement.<P>Continued contact is non-negotiable.