I have my first chance at happiness since d-day. My H as you know is in love with the OW. It has been very deep emotionally between them. He has been trying to make up his mind what to do, which way to go; to her or to his family. He could not decide between "love" and being true to his vows and family.<P>The decision was taken from him, she broke it off with him. She couldn't wait every day to see if he is going to stay home, and she could not take it, and for her sanity, she ended it. I told him I was proud of her. That it must have been very hard to let my H go. <P>Of course his heart has been "ripped" from him, but now he knows how I feel~ I was really thinking it was the end, it was so hard for him to tell me. He actually wanted to jump on a plane to get her back. But he told me instead.<P>Of course, if he were to visit her state again, or see her at a product show, I would not trust either of them. But finally I can look to the future to see what it holds for me and if that is what I really want. And can he fulfill my EN's. <P>I have to continue to work on my codependency, my esteem and find my identity. I know we have a lot ahead of us, but now there is a chance. We can now freely explore if a loving future is ahead for us. I think so <P>As for him, wow, she worshiped him, it is hard to compete with that. I hope our mutual focus on our marriage will bear fruit. I do love him, I hope one day he will love me again, but in the mean time I will support him while he goes through his heartache about OW. He has a lot to say, we keep getting interupted. At least he is now talking. I hope he doesn't lose heart and flee to her state after her. But I think not, right now. <P>I'll take one day at a time. And cherish every one. For now he is my husband again. All mine. I am weeping with joy.<P>Thanks for all your prayers. You have helped me survive the first part of this, which was the worst, for me. The betraying is over . I am free of her. I will go to the chapel and thank God in His house for the blessings he has brought me. I don't expect miricles, I will work for this marriage, and in time, I feel my H will have the strength also. Thanks for all the support. I'm sure I'll need more in the future. <P>

Congratulations...<P>Head on over to the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&forum=In+recovery&number=31&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>In recovery</A> forum...<P>Do pass GO...<P>You've already collected more than $200<P>...now get down to work...<BR>...on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3900_rules.html" TARGET=_blank>The Four Rules for a Successful Marriage</A>... and...<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3500_policy.html" TARGET=_blank>The Policy of Joint Agreement(POJA)</A>.<P>This does mean <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... and more!<P>There is to be joy...<BR>...in your work!<P> <P>Jim

Jim-<BR>You move too fast for me! Even though the OW has departed, I still have to deal with the fall out. My H has not actually said yet that he is commited to our marriage yet. He is so in love that he is now marooned! Of course I look comforting; but I don't want to, I don't know, tempt the fates too quickly? I am still scared!!!!!!! And now my H is too. But I am going to give him or read with him, SAA. I read it, he is ready now. <P>Thanks

This is great news! You are right to be a little cautious - and you definitely need to remember how much work is ahead.<P>How wonderful it must feel to know that you've got that chance to DO the work!<P>If you haven't checked out the site that "today" posted for us, please do - I think you will find it encouraging and inspiring - and I think your husband will find it so, as well.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.smartmarriages.com/" TARGET=_blank>http://www.smartmarriages.com/</A> <P>Great stuff there!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Back to the top for Momof123. Sorry I haven't figured out how to link UBBs but NSR does! Check out his link to Plan A.<P>Hope this helps,<BR>KristyAnn

Burnedspouse,<BR> Congratulations. Now you may have a chance to work things out. I didn't have to deal with H's withdrawal from OW, there was no attachment at all. You have a lot more strength than I do to sign on for that. If there had been some kind of attachment, I don't think I would have stuck it out like I did, considering there is a possible OC as well. Way too much for my plate. Good luck though, and I wish you even more strength, because I am sure you will have need of it from time to time. Hope things work out for the best. You rule!!!!!

Wonderful news. My H was in love with OW - their affair was brief and they only met twice due to the long distance. However, he chose to stay with his family and that says everything to me. He's in withdrawal still, cannot tell me he loves me yet, but my feeling is that if they were so completely in love,so right for each other, they would be together now - and you know what - there has been no contact for over two months. (dday four months ago). I think she realized she had gone over the edge after she actually spoke with me and realized just what she had gotten into. She's not a bad person - just made a BIG mistake. So - there are tough days and wonderful days - we are in counselling, reading, talking, making love and working together in business. Still don't know what the outcome is for us, but we are recovering and living daily "AS IF" we'll be together til death...<BR>Hang in there...you journey begins.<BR>God Bless You!!

My prayers are with you that your marriage will be restored.

Dear Burned spouse,<P>I am happy to hear that your H has returned to you. It is great news as I am very aware that you love him so much. It is also wise that you are cautious because he is at the withdrawal stage, and you may be hurt by his feelings.<P>Please pray to God to keep your marriage strong and faithful - my family gave me a book on 'The power of the Praying Wife' by Stormie (her book is also on this site).<P>I hope to hear from you and when you feel stronger, I hope you can help me and the rest to restore the love and trust in a marriage wrecked by infidelity because I still cannot do so.<P>My best wishes and prayers to you and your marriage.

weep<P>Thank you for that heart felt response. But since the OW left him, I cannot say that he is returned to me yet, not of his choice-yet. But he has not left our home and he seems to want to talk most days about OW. It is a positive start to regain his frindship, then move on to EN's. Baby steps are important, every one!<P>B