Just curious...for the people posting here.<BR>How long was/has the A gone on and if in recovery, how long it went on before recovery?<P>

My H's affair w/the Fruit Loop Banshee has gone TOOOOOO Bloody DAMN Long!!!<P>Sorry, just a quick vent.<P>From what I can decipher, my H's A started in Nov 1998, I think. Discovery/admission was in October 1999, although I strongly suspected and kinda knew bef that. So 1.5 years their piece of crap relationship has been going on.<P>I'm in rare form this evening, aren't I? (rhetorical)<P>We separated on April 29, 2000. So we've been separated for 4 mos and 6 days.<P>Last contact w/H was August 15, 2000. So haven't had contact for 20 days. He has tried to contact me but I'm not willing right now. Tooo hurt to do it. <P>Jo

No recovery here either. <BR>Affair has gone on for 11/2 years, of course they were just friends. I discovered 1 year ago.<BR>Lora

Resilient and Lora,<BR>I'm so sorry for your pain. My gosh how have you remained sane? It's been 4 months for me and I'm a wreck. I found out really early! H moved out into his own apt. with a 6 month lease, I'm hoping for a miracle that he will come home. He says he doesn't love her, and just wants to feel in love with someone. WE are going to counseling, so I hope they can help us. Doesn't want to read books I got, and he continues to see the HAG.<P>Help me get through this!

Oh Jo-<BR>I am so sorry. I wish I was better at profiling people, but I am plain awful about getting the picture through these threads, or remembering them with the right User. You have been such a help to mme so far. it breaks my heart to see this long drawn out, pain-causing behavior from the WS. I was so lucky. The ow left him because she loved him too much to be let down.<P>He is still living at home, but things are tense as he is starting to go through withdrawal. But dday was one month ago. if it wasn't for the dacrafice of the OW, he would still be waffling. But he has not committed himself to me yet. "I don't have the passion any more." he says. What a killer. But I have the highest hopes for him. I am giving him the SAA tomorrow evening. I did not want to confuse him right before our therapy session--we only get one every two weeks.<P>He still loves her, but he is gallantly trying to be buddy-ish and attentive to the children. they couldn't be happier. He was so non-responsive to them for the last 15 mos.<P>By the way--Many Tears--His A started May 1999, and dday was Aug 5, 2000. 15 mos. I figured it out from his work trips, which I keep a record of, he told me they met at a product show in vegas--it is a week long show. the next month they started the PA<P>We were not physically involved after that until the AM of the day before DDAy. Tell-tale for sure. That is why i was instantly suspicious the following night when some story he told didn't jive. Then CRASH-BOOM went my life. Right out from under me.<P>I don't know how some of you, Like Jo and Lora can deal with these drawn out A's and B's. I am still a newby I guess. <P>I asked if I could return to our bed tonite, no funny stuff, just comfort--he said no.