Hi everyone...<P>This afternoon at work, I received a phone call from my husband. He asked me what was I doing, and I told him (at the time I was talking to my co-worker). Then he joked how I didn't have any work to do? I explained that it was quiet at the moment, but that I had to work until 7pm. He then asked me what I was doing after work. I told him I was going home. Then he amended it to later - he meant after HE got done with work.<P>He said he had to come over and talk to me.<P>I don't know what about. He will be here any minute - 10:30 eastern time.<P>Wish me well!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Terri,<P>Lower your expectations...<BR>...to keep your head on straight.<P>Love and honor...<P> <P>Jim

I wish you and your husband a wonderful, powerful talk. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way! I hope I did this in time!

Terri, I'm praying, what's happening !? <P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Terri,<BR>My curiousity is killing me!! Please help!!<P>I know we all should lower our expectations but I can't! I hope your H brought you a good news(if it's not great)<P>Meg

Terri,<BR>Praying for you. The law of averages says someone has to have good news tonight. I hope its you !<BR>Lora

Well, I hope the reason Terri hasn't posted yet is because they are making up for lost time! <P>No kidding, Terri...when you get a minute, let us all know WHAT HAPPENED!!!!!!

((((((((((((((((Terri)))))))))))))))))<P>

I am computer-stupid. How do you send a link? I have to send Deb's "Wally" to my husband, the reigning cybersex stud of the universe. Just a little humor that he might be able to understand. And he says I don't have a sense of humor (I don't. I want to bug him.)

Terri!!!!!!!!<P>We're peein our pants here ... please tell us what happened!<P>Prayers,<BR>Jo

He has an appointment tomorrow with a lawyer. The lawyer told him to talk to me and see what I plan to do when he files for divorce.<P>I told him I didn't know.<P>What kind of question is that?<P>So ... he is going to file for divorce. Because his feelings for me haven't changed. I told him that of course they hadn't changed - they couldn't change if he was with someone else.<P>I didn't give him an answer. I don't quite know what to do. I do know that I don't want a divorce, I want my husband. But apparently, what I want does not account for anything anymore... I guess it hasn't for a long time.<P>This really sucks.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Oh, Terri! I'm so sorry!!!<BR>{{{{{{{{{{{{{Terri}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P><BR>

Terri Honey, I'm really really sorry.<P>I'm confused, what kind of question is that? <P>>>>>>>>What do you plan to do>>>>>>>>><P>I don't understand? Did your H elaborate?<P>Are you okay Terri?<P>Concerned,<BR>Jo

Thank you all for the support ...<P>He wants to know if I will just "roll over" and say "ok - whatever you want." or if I am going to contest and "drag things out."<P>I think I will offer the compromise... legal separation for a year (in NY the ONLY way to get "no-fault" divorce). I will not promise not to contest anything... I don't think I should make any promises at all.<P>Apparently, he thought that we could be "just friends." And that there would be no reason we couldn't be friends even now ... I think he has been sniffing something that has killed 15 or 16 brain cells - while I don't want hostility, I am certainly not going to answer his computer questions, share his inventive ideas and encourage his dreams while he is declaring to the world that he no longer wants to be married to me...<P>Oh ... I am too tired for this tonight... I will be Scarlet O'Hara and think about it tomorrow... <P>I am ok and I will be fine. This too shall pass and it won't kill me. However, if I don't get sleep and if I don't get my blood pressure down (it has been quite high over the last couple of days - we think because of some medication I am on, but not sure), that COULD kill me..<P>Talk to you all again soon.<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

T,<P>Stupid question from a stupid man (my first thought).<P>I remember this place, this conversation, this incredible pain. It's all part of the crappy process they put us through. Would it help to say from this side of the world that this too shall pass ?<P>You've worked really hard, for a long time. Please don't come out of this with any doubt about that.<P>And try not to be mad I call him a stupid man because you know that's nice for me.<P>Come back and work through this.<P>V

Terri:<P>If we needed a good example of how these *&%$#s aren't in their "right" minds, then this would be a dilly. <P>Only a moron would think that he could leave his family and run off with OW, put you through he** for months, and then come asking if you would just kindly roll over and play dead so it will be easier on him getting a divorce. Friends??? Friends don't do this to one another. The least you expect out of a friend is loyalty.<P>What did he expect to acheive? Just feeling you out? <P>There's no reason to make it easier or hardier. Just do what feels best to you and don't worry about him. He'll survive either way. Your priority is you now.<P>Buffy<BR>

Hi<P>I am very sorry for your pain and the shock of the awful div subject.<P>Please be kind to yourself. <P>Please know that sometimes like Joseph said (in the bible) when he rebuked his brothers for trying to kill him years ago and now they had to go to Egypt to seek food because of the famine in their homeland. Joseph was by then the great officer in charge of the plentiful grain in Egypt:<P>"You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good".<P>We don't know God's plan, but God will never throw us a curve we cannot overcome.<P>Cry, take a day off, get support from friends or / and family. <P>God loves you.<BR>Take care.

Oh Terri, honey I am so so so sorry ! You have tried so very hard for so long now. This just plain stinks.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Terri}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

Terri, <P>I am so sorry! I was really hoping for much better things than this. It is all pointing to plan B. <P>Take care of yourself.

Terri,<P>I'm sorry to hear about the downturn, but as they say, this is a perfect opportunity...<P>Plan B time. Give him the letter. Make him do the work. Offer no concessions.