Well, after H got up last night, I went to bed in the guestroom. After a while, he came in and told me to get in our bed. I said, in a nice voice, "No, that's all right. You take our bed."<P>He got mad, stomped off, saying, "I was going to get in bed with you."<P>After a while, he came back, saying, "Come get in our bed." I replied that I thought it would be better if we didn't sleep together until we got things straight.<P>He got mad, put his clothes on and stomped down the hall, saying, "Fine! I'll just leave...blah, blah (couldn't hear what all he said)." I did not get up to stop him, as I would have done in the past.<P>About 10 minutes later, he came back and ASKED me to please come back to our bed, that we could work things out.<P>So....I caved. He held me and told me that he loved me more than anything in this world. I told him that I was sorry for dumping on him when he felt bad, but that I had been keeping this stuff inside for such a long time....that I needed to be able to talk to HIM about my feelings. I told him that I wanted to be his best friend; he said, "You ARE my best friend. You've always been there when everybody else would leave." I told him that I wanted us to go out and "date", because we never really did that one-on-one...we always were with other people. He said, "You really have a hang-up about that, don't you?" I said, "Yes, because when we go out with another couple, you and the guy spend the whole time talking to each other, while his wife/GF and I spend the time talking to each other. I want you and me to have fun with each other." He said, "Well, I see your point. We can do that. That's why I wanted to buy the vacation place. We'll go up there next weekend, and I'll take you up the river." (Now, we'll probably have to take #2 grandson because we promised to take him the next time we go, but that'll be OK.)<P>I told H that I didn't want our marriage to be what it had been, but that I wanted it to be better. He said that he thought it had been fine the way it was. I told him that I felt it wasn't, due to anger and resentment on both our parts. I told H that I knew that I had been to blame for a large part of our problems, but that it was because I had built up so much resentment over the years due to my knowing that he had cheated and trying to push it back. I told him that things had gotten so bad for me that I decided I needed to change myself into a better person...to get out of the rut I had found myself in. That I had started trying almost 3 years ago to start being a nicer and more loving wife. He said, "I know you've been trying. You have changed. You don't fight back anymore when I get on your @$$ about stuff." I told him that I appreciated how he had started trying to discuss things with me in a nicer way. <P>Anyway, he's promised that we'll discuss more later, as we were both worn out. We'll see.<P>Oh, and there's another thing. He still has the stripper's phone number in his wallet. When he pulled out his insurance card at the ER yesterday, I saw the blue post-it paper in between the cards. He quickly tucked it underneath another card. So...not sure how to handle that. He hasn't called the cellphone number, though. I'm grateful for that, but the fact that he's kept the number makes me feel that he's still open to the idea of cheating again. I'll have to work through that, somehow.<P>So, I guess the Modified Plan B is off, for now. <BR>

Here's one thing I would do. Teh next time he's around and his wallet is out (my H always leaves his on the counter) take the phone #out and throw it away. Don't say a word,just do it. When H and I got back together I noticed a key on his keyring that didn't seem to belong to anything I recognized. I figured it could have been to OW's house so I just pitched it.

Keep up with the plan-a....ZERO Lovebusters...<P>Bill

Fairydust,<BR> That's what I've been thinking about doing. I set him up for that (I paid the stripper to slip him the note) just to see what he would do. I guess it's time for me to take my secret cellphone, have the number changed and give it to one of the guys at work so they won't always be using MY cellphone.

I set him up for that (I paid the stripper to slip him the note) just to see what he would do. >><P>Wow! I didnt' realize that. Well at least he hasn't called the number, that is a great sign!