Well, Plan b for now 4 months..a few emails telling me he is realizing what is is missing, how unhappy he is, etc, but continued contact with the OP. (A long distance, online affair with a married woman). Then comes the first of November. He tells me it is over with her, wants to take me out. I have inside info (the OPs husband and I communicate and run interference for each other) and know that they are still talking. So I tell him that I feel he still needs to work on himself, glad he has made this positive move in his life and I will wait and watch. So then, he goes to see her right after Thanksgiving!! What gives??? He is obviously still in the troughs of the addiction. Should I try to revisit Plan A since I feel him waverling and bit? Or continue Plan B and watch? This is so difficult for all. Sometimes I wish he would just choose her and get it over with, other times I wish he would choose me and get it over with!!!! But my love for him was really shaky before I went to Plan B, the constant lies, deciet was eating me up. Emotionally I am much better now....advice????? I will be out of town till tomorrow, so need lots of posts to read when I get back to respind to....<P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR>

Hi Sue,<P> I think you need to go back to a strict Plan B, you could tell him again that if all contact and only if all contact is cut can there be reconciliation....in my opinion if you go to Plan A he will have you both and you will be a mess and you will not have much love for him left....Btw, I think it's great he's making these efforts but hold firm....Lu

Thanks Lu, I guess that is what I need to do. I did talk to H today, we still work together and he told me that he still loves me, but is addicted. So I told him that I still cared about him and that if we were to reconcile the OP had to be out of the picture. I did tell him that nothing was nore important than my family and our marriage and that I would wait and watch. I did say that I am going to continue to go on with my life however. This has been going on for two years now. I want to bring this back to the top for any other advice. Guys???<P>------------------<BR>Susan<P><BR>

Sue,<P>(Your name is a tough one for me... same as my W's)...sorry...<P>Stay firm in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>!<P>This is <B>it</B>!!!!!<BR>Stay strong....<BR>You go girl....<BR>Go team (MB)... Go...<BR>Whatever it takes...<P>I want to see a whole cheering crowd behind you on this...<P>I am in the trailing end of Plan A... maybe 1 or 2 months left ... then I too will go to <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>!<P>When I'm there (in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>)... I want to hear from everyone on this board the same kind of encouragement...<P>You'll get it from me... now that I know whose <B><I>name</I></B> to look for.<P>Were you around when Paul Moyers started his <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>?...<BR>He got some great support... faltered alot... but great support!<BR>You deserve no less that kind of support! <P>Ask and you shall receive... <P>Yes, there does seem to be a crack in H's armor... but wait it out... make his armor rust...when if falls off... <B>your there</B>!!!<P>Praying for fortitude...<P>I'll definitely check out your posts from now on!<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 10, 1999).]