Well I had my H fill out the emotional needs Q last night, then we swapped and talked for awhile. I was proud of myself...stayed calm, didn't cry, just discussed. I was very wordy on mine, I communicate better in writing. His was short, mostly saying everything I did was fine. I found it intersting though that as the questions went along, he started saying how he thought he was doing, not writing about me. I did get one thing out of him when we were talking, & it was something I knew bothered him, but he never admited. I am very shy in certain social settings (large groups, bars) and he feels that on occasion he has to make excuses for me when I don't go. I had to laugh, because I do the same thing for him for opposite reasons...sometimes I don't like to take him along because he makes me feel even more uncomfortable. He's very outgoing, likes to be the center of attention. Just makes me look even quieter, and then I get teased. He says I need to relax, have a drink or something. I have improved in the past year, but unfortunately it's in settings without him. I really don't like most of his friends and got tired of trying. Most of the people he hangs out with are older, bar folk. Not that I'm putting them down, but I rarely drink, don't like smokey places, and whenever I've tried in the past to do something with these people, we start or end at the bar. I know that the whole thing is soemthing I need to work on, but even if I work through through it, become more sociable, I don't like the atmosphere. He doesn't understand that. He also said last night that yes, he's sefl centered, and while he wants to do more with me, he still thinks we need our independence. I think some separate activity is great, but even after a nice talk, I'm left with the feeling that he wants to live life his way, and thinks I should live mine my way. I tried asking what I could do to make his life better, he says nothing. I asked him why he loved me and know what he said "Because you're here" He went on to say that it was because I was his friend. But I told him that first statement sounded to me like he took me for granted.<BR>Anyway, gotta get to work, just needed to write. I feel good that we talked, but don't know if it really accomplished much.
