Terri,<P>I hope I don't bring any bad feelings or anything like that but I do have a question for you.<P>You stated in your other posts that in NYS there is a 1 year separation law. I am just wondering how that reads exactly.<P>You see in VA, it states that a couple must be separated for 1 year; not living in the same residence or having any sexual relations for 1 year before they can get a divorce <B>providing they have children!!</B><BR>However, if they do not have any children, that separation term of 1 year does not apply. And there is no need for any special papers to be filed for this time frame to begin. One just states that they have not shared the same residence and that there has been no sexual contact for a duration of at least 1 year. And that is it!<P>In other words this is my question. If the two of you have been separated for 2 yrs. in the terms of residence and physical contact then can he go ahead and claim the 1 year separation as already being fulfilled? <P>Just wondering how the law reads in NY.<P>Genie

No problem, Genie ... the law in NY is very clear: It must be a LEGAL separation as a result of a duly filed separation agreement or a court-ordered separation. It is the same regardless of whether there are children or not. The two years we have been physically separated do not count for anything according to NY divorce law. We could have lived apart for any amount of time - that never counts until the actual separation paperwork is signed by both parties and filed in court.<P>I do need to find out a few more details about this (such as: can I do anything to change the agreement or prevent the divorce provided I do so before the end of the 12 month period), but that part I am absolutely 100% certain of. It is the only way for a "no-fault" divorce in NY state, as NY is a "fault" state with regard to divorce.<P>There are also very specific and clear reasons that a person may file for divorce in NY: Adultery (as in I could divorce HIM for his affair with slug - of course then they might want PROOF - especially if they ever got a look at her - LOL!); Abandonment (as in I could divorce HIM because he left ME); and physical and/or mental cruelty (of which there was none in our marriage). From what I've read and been told, however, the lawyers have managed to use the "mental cruelty" reasoning by stretching that to encompass "I don't love her anymore" HUH???<P>I wish New York would jump on the marriage saving bandwagon with so many other states that have been doing so lately!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR><B>Courage</B><P>Whatever course you decide upon,<BR>there is always someone to tell you<BR>that you are wrong.<P>There are always difficulties arising<BR>which tempt you to believe that your <BR>critics are right.<P>To map out a course of action <BR>and follow it to an end <BR>requires courage.<P><I>Ralph Waldo Emerson</I>

Terri, just had to comment on marriage saving states--my state is 60 day no fault, the only thing required is if you have children you have to go to a parenting class before the divorce will be final. Not much there.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."<BR>(Proverbs 15:1).