This weekend I have been working on divorce papers.For those that dont know my story here is a short version.H asked me for a divorce in NOv,totally unexpected from my point of view.H actively began pursuing other women over the internet.H finally met current ow over the internet about the same time he asked me for divorce.H left me for about 4 days in JAN,then moved home again.I still have no clue of extent of involvement with ow,or even that this ow exsisted.Clues of affair with ow fit together like a pieces of a puzzle.To make a long story short H moves out in april,moves her down in june with 2 oc's.<BR>I planned A ,till he moved out ,then plan b.Plan b only made him angrier.I thought to myself,well everything else has failed maybe plan a again.I saw him physically for the first time in weeks,he was so mad he wouldnt even look at me.I have emailed him about children ,"ours"<BR>,but he does not respond.He continues to email younger son almost daily.Older son not on computer much.I am filling out papers leading to a hearing for temporary support.H is pushing for the divorce.Any advice as to what to do next?NSR miss your advice if you are lurking.beth

Hi Beth,<BR>I don't know what advice to give you about kids and seperation and divorce. Just wanted to let you know I will pray for you. <BR>Lora

Hi Alone:<P>Of all types of affairs, don't internet affairs seem to be the biggest "fantasy" relationships of all? Despite it's beginnings, your H's affair seems to have <BR>followed a generalized pattern for affairs.<BR>All that anger from him is a way to cope with his guilt so try to ignore as must of it as possible and remain pleasant. In time he will be more civil and appreciative of your attempts to be pleasant.<P>Your H's affair sounds like it is still in its "honeymoon" phase. Perhaps because this is an idealized relationship built on very limited genuine contact with each other, this affair won't last for an extended period of time. <P>Plan A is difficult with an ongoing affair, so now that you're separated, it might be a good time to begin a "real" Plan A. Our initial Plan A's are usually not as effective as they could be because they are development in an emotional turmoil. <P>Perhaps now would be a good time to do some introspection and make some plans (while you really have limited input into the situation with you H and OW). Please except this as the way it is right now...but it won't be this way forever. Concentrate on you and your children right now. You might try to get some direction from Steve Harley with a telephone consultation.<BR> <BR>I feel the desperation in your post, but I really think you need to give this more time and try not to force a resolution. <P>Buffy<BR> <P><BR> <P>