I've been turning this over and over in my head and I don't know how to react to it again if it happens.<P>Last Thursday, I was driving home when I see H and OW running on the sidewalk. H sees me and acknowledges me with a wave. I look right at him and do nothing but continue to drive. He had dinner that night with her and left her apartment at 9:30 p.m. I know this because his car was parked at the front of our condo building complex (OW also lives here). H lives in his own apt. 5 miles away. <P>He and I are having dinner tonight and then we are having our counseling session Thursday. I am so frustrated and hurt, and he must be confused otherwise how could he continue this see-saw behavior? <P>Our communication is okay, it could be better. We don't fight, argue, and nothing nasty has gone on. The counseling sessions have been challenging, but we keep going.<P>I really need some encouraging words today so I don't LB tonight. I've been really good about being positive and plan A'ing even though we spend hardly any quality time together. This is one of the few opportunities I have to have private time with him. For some reason, I feel like tonight is going to be pivotal one way or the other. <P>We do have plans to do things together throughout the month, but I guess I get easily discouraged when I see or know that he is spending time with her. Can someone see the bright side to any of this?<P>Need your thoughts, MT

I have to try hard sometimes not to LB too. It is very hard, I know. I'd suggest just for the evening, trying to ignore whatever you have seen....pretent that tonight is the start of something new, and remember good times, and forget about the bad stuff. I know it is harder said than done, but that is kind of what makes me be able to avoid LB and be friendly when I've seen something that really drives me crazy inside. I figure that if it is ever going to change, we dont' know when that might be, so what if it was your next meeting? You would not want to LB then.<P>Good luck.

Hi Rick,<P>Thanks for your reply! You really made me look at things from a different angle. I know you're right, and your encouragment is helpful. I want my H back and I have to pretent that each time we meet, I have to think as if it's another step closer to renewing our relationship.<P>Thank you, thank you! MT

Hi Many Tears,<P>My thought would be kill him with niceness. My H tells me when he is at OW house. So I ask how is she and her kids. It kills me but I do it. on the otherhand she nevers knows when he is with me. Positive things are he cant tell her the truth but can me. Plus she is lying her [censored] off and he knows it.<P>Michelle