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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 182
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OP
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 182 |
<BR>[This message has been edited by Taxman (edited September 13, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by Taxman (edited September 13, 2000).]
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 162
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Joined: Aug 2000
Posts: 162 |
You did the right thing by not responding to the OW's email. Undoubtedly, she may try again just to hear from you (withdrawal).<P>As a BS, yes, I would like to know of even the limited contact. I don't know the status or condition of your marriage at the moment, but if you are rebuilding trust, honesty is the way to go. Besides, your refusal to reply to her email in my view is a step towards rebuilding trust, and I certainly would appreciate knowing of any step (large or miniscule) towards that end.<P>Good luck, MT
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 580
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 580 |
Taxman, as a BS, I would have wanted to know about this incident. The fact that you do not plan on responding shows that you are committed to your W. You will also build up trust if you communicate honestly with your W about things like this.<P>Best of luck!
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 3,045 |
hello taxman,<BR>start talking....tell your wife. It will be hard for her, so be prepared to be very supportive.<BR>you did the right thing by deleting. NO CONTACT. cl
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 24
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Joined: Mar 2000
Posts: 24 |
Taxman,<P>Ditto to everything posted, but also, why not block her from sending you e-mail ? Most accounts that I have seen have this feature.<P>Good luck
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,743 |
i agree with all posts. total honesty. let her no every attempt at contact. block her from all email accounts and messenger accounts. Also, if you have caller ID, don't pick up on her calls. Always let the BS know what contact was made and how it was handled. I feel much better knowing those things.<BR>
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 233
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 233 |
Taxman, tell your wife. It does wonders to her trust when you do. She will see you trying and doing whatever it takes to be open with her.<P>Let her read it in fact. That would be the BEST. That way she won't wonder what was really said. Openness and Honesty is the only way to recover. My H received a call from OW last week. He called me immediately and told me. Told me to listen to the message. Then we talked about how to handle. You and H will NEVER know what that means and what that says to a BS. TELL HER. And if she gets angry, crys, whatever her reaction. Let her feel whatever she will feel. She will get over it and realize you are being open with her and are truly ready to recover. Good Luck<P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,225
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Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,225 |
Taxman -<P>I am a WS, too, and I had a similar situation occur with me. . .I told my H about the message and together we developed a plan of action - if the OM contacted me again. . .I think it helped regain some of my H's trust, plus he was included in helping me to figure out ways to stop the OM from calling me. . .There were several times he mentioned kicking his butt, but this was more productive I think.<P>Any emails that I get, I immediately delete and do not respond to. . .If he calls, I remind him that I am working on my marriage, I love my H, and to please never call again. I think your W would want to know. .
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