I know it may sound cruel, but the time has come for me to get a life of my own. she still refuses to give up the OW, works with her all day and sees her when ever she can sneak away, There is nothing left, when she comes home, she sits and plays with the puppies and falls asleep on the couch, absolutely no communication, closeness or caring behaviors on her part. I have continued to try for 18 months with nothing from her. 1 month ago we attended a PAIRS workshop to give us tools to get over this, but she refuses to use them. I have continued to show caring behaviors but now just feel empty with nothing more to give. I told her she has to be gone by the first of January. She wants us to go home for Xmas but told her no she can go if she wants to. Since we both work for the same agency, I have decided to move on to another job to distance my self from her. Could'nt work in same building with her any longer when we are apart. I know she is afraid to make the move on her own, her security will be gone. I just know I need a life finally and some one who cares about me. I know I may be wrong for giving up but a year and a half of this has drained me totally. I need to get my health back and continue living. Am I wrong?

If it's what you think is right for you, then your definately not wrong. There's nothing wrong with protecting yourself. It's sounds like it is some you have thought out and are not jumping into so do what you need to do.

I don't know what our situation (W's & I) will be in 18 months, but I think that you are making the right move.<P>The best of lucks, I wish you true happiness, love and profound peace.<P>ThisAlex<P>------------------<BR>If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about Trust and Awareness.