It seems Paul and I have been thinking the same thoughts in regards to stepping back from MB. His post has inspired me to do the same. <P>My friends, what can I say to you all. You have helped me more than you will ever know. <P>At the end of the summer, I thought I would have been added to the list of successful marriages here at MB. But, after three months in recovery, my wife is chose to maintain an emotional affair with her OM. My marriage is not healing. My work is suffering as this EA is now consuming my thoughts. I find it difficult to focus on anything. I'm starting to be filled with bitterness and resentment. I have ignored my best friend and my Savior - Jesus Christ. <P>Infidelity seems to be winning the fight, but I'm not giving up. I don't go down that easy. I am very close to Plan B and will do that with proper counsel (yes, K I'm talking to Steve). I may lose my wife to infidelity, but I <B>will not</B> lose my kids to this monster. They are the innocent party here. I feel I am suffering for them now, or what is about to happen to them. <P>I want to especially thank all the betrayed men out there that have walked through this fire with me. Those of you who have made it, you give me hope. Those of you who are still in the fire, I'm with you in spirit. I just don't have anything to offer any more. My words seem almost hypocritical at this point. I can't offer advice on how to get through this if I haven't done it myself.<P>To the betraying women, I thank you for giving me insight to the thoughts and emotions my wife feels. Your advice has been invaluable to me. <P>To the betrayed women, I know your pain. And it hurts. Thank you for encouraging me to keep going. I hope your marriages heal and you find happiness again.<P>To the betraying men, it would be easy for me to be bitter towards you since my W is still seeking the attention of a betraying man. But, since you're here, I hold no ill will toward you. I can not relate to your situations at all, but I hope you work to restore your marriages. <P>So, I bid you "adieu" for now. As in Paul's case, I have to renew my spirit as well. My MB candle will always be lit to remind me of you all. I am giving my marriage over completely to the Lord. I have tried to manipulate the outcome for too long. I haven't let Him have reign in my marriage and now I must - it's my last hope. I love my wife with all that I am. I can't imagine holding any other woman in my arms. God gave me this lady, I gave her my heart. Pray for my marriage, I will be praying for you all. <P>God bless you all, <P>Sir Hurts Alot (a.k.a. David)<P>------------------<BR>There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved. <P><BR>

David,<P>I haven't had as many reply to/with you as Paul... but I understand completely this need.<P>I in time will find myself there...<BR>I've had some inklings about it...<BR>But I stay!<P>You know where the Lord is pulling you...<BR>Don't resist... Never resist when He calls you. <P>His Spirit will give you the strength...<BR>His Father will protect you...<BR>He is all you need right now!<P>If ever you need to stop by...<BR>For a word of encouragement...<BR>To see an inspirational post... you may have remembered... do so...<P>This kind of leaving is not a "forever" kind.<P>My love is with you too.<P>Your brother in Christ.<P>Jim<BR>------------------<BR>I can dare myself... I'll put a pebble in my shoe...<BR>I can walk... I can walk! I shall call the pebble Dare...<BR>Dare shall be carried... And when we both have had enough<BR>I will take him from my shoe, singing... "Meet your new road!"...<BR>Finally glad... Finally glad... That you are here... By my side...<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 09, 1999).]

SHA -<P>I am sorry for all your pain...<P>I don't want you to go...but I will respect what you feel you must do <BR>(Can't make my pout go away though.)<P>Can I still EMail with you? <P>You're right to give the bulk of it to the Lord.....remember that He works through you sometimes though!!<P>You're tired, frustrated and just want your life back.....time to sit back to some extent and let things happen without strategizing and manipulating.<P>You will feel better SHA - I promise!! Just don't know when....for any of us.<P>Love Ya and I'm always here for you!!<P>BIG HUGS, STRENGTH AND PRAYERS,<P>Sheba<P>PS - did you get that punching bag yet? I swear it will help SHA!!!<BR>

Thanks for reminding me Sheba.<P>I will always be available through email:<P>sha@holygrail.co.uk<P><BR>No punching bag yet, I'll have to keep punching you in the arm instead.

We will all miss you!! Plan B may be a good time to renew your spirit and love of God. Take care of yourself and the children. Pray for your wife daily so that she may learn to know what she stands to lose. Best wishes for the future. Janie

Hey SHA,<P>I just responded to Paul and you are next. I can certainly respect your decision to take a leave of the board.<P>It hurts me to see all the pain and hurt that is written here. I have made some great progress in my situation. I just want to see how my friends are doing and try to share the secret to my success to see if it can help others.<P>I have always respected you for fighting the good fight. I read many of your posts when I was just a newby.<P>Please don't forget about us. We will not forget about you. Keep us posted.<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic...Zippy...Tim

Sir Hurts Alot, <P>I don't post much, but I read this forum and follow many stories. I was always interested in your story because we seem to have so much in common. I have been married one year less than you and also have four children. My wife is in an EA too that seems almost impossible to break. <P>I simply want to say you have inspired me. You have changed more than any man I have seen around here. You give more than seems possible and through it all your love for your wife hasn't waviered. <P>I simply can not understand how your wife's mind can be so clouded to not see what kind on man God has given her.<P>Do well, Sir Hurts Alot. We will think of you and miss your insight.<P>Please check back in sometime and let us know how you are doing.<P>Regards,<P>Fool No More<p>[This message has been edited by Fool No More (edited December 09, 1999).]

SHA:<P>God bless you, and have a merry Christmas.

SHA,<BR>I have followed your life here from the first time you posted. You have character and tenacity(sp?) and wisdom. Your wife has all she could ever want in a husband sitting right in front of her eyes, but those eyes are blinded right now to a bunch of things probably. I am glad that you have given this to God and I pray that because of doing that He will give you such a sense of peace and rest that you will not even believe that you could feel.<BR>Take care of yourself and your children and your wife as much as she will let you. Please check in with us every once in a while...<BR>Mike<BR>

SHA,<P>Your story, your pain, your efforts, and your courage are all in my heart. The power of love is strong within you - believe in that always. There are many of us here, including myself, who have been touched and aided by your true and uplifting spirit. Always know that you have that ability. It is within you, and know it is for you. I believe in your quest, I believe in you. The path may not be easy, nor a satisfying end in sight, yet the path of a rightous person with true love in their hearts can only lead to a very good place - no matter the pain of getting there.<P>Take good care of yourself,<BR>SamH

SHA,<P>I am really sorry to see you leave the board. You have given many such good advice. However, I know that sometimes one needs to back off and look at things. I hope that you are successful in your quest, Kind Sir. You deserve the best. Sometime I may communicate with you to see how you are doing if that is alright with you.<P>Do please come back sometime and let us know how things are going. You will be in my thoughts, especially over these holidays. Take good care of yourself and your children and have faith. I believe you will be rewarded.<P>God Bless You and Your Family<P>JL

I'm fairly new here, but your words have helped me get through quite a few trying times. Sorry to see you go, but I bid you good luck in all that you do. You seem like the type of person who will overcome and make yourself the best you can be. Take care

SHA, If you wish to email me, I'm around. chrisca@pcisys.net <P>Take care of yourself & have a Merry Christmas!<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

SHA,<P>I feel like all of us betrayed men have a special bond and we will miss you. I too am praying for all of us and our situations and letting God lead my life and marriage. Best wishes and happy holidays, hope you check back in for an update every once in awhile.

Two of a feather? <P>Job:2:13: So they sat down with him upon the ground seven days and seven nights, and none spake a word unto him: for they saw that his grief was very great.<P>I know I speak to you of Job a lot SHA, reason being because you remind me of him. Through your trials and burdens. I shall sit with you SHA. Will you report back in seven days? Perhaps an update on just how you are doing. I will if you will. <P>The Lord has led you down a path you did not wish to travel, but for some reason He felt you must. Jesus prayed to his father 'let this cup pass from me' , he did not want to travel his path either, but in the end 'thy will be done' he had to give it to God. He had to take a road that none of us could dream of enduring. SHA, you are on a road that many could not dream of enduring. Our paths have crossed and a friend I have found. While your strength and preserverence have been outstanding, they can not last forever.<P>As many have said, this is not 'good-bye' from you I assume, only a 'see you later'. You have my prayers and thoughts...Walk with me Lord, walk with me...Walk with me Lord, walk with me...When I'm lonesome, lonesome journey...I want Jesus, to walk with me...<P>Your brother in Christ<BR>Paul<P>PS: Should I be jealous that you have more reponses than me? hehe <P><P>------------------<BR>1Co:2:4: And my speech and my preaching was not with enticing words of man's wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power:<BR>1Co:2:5: That your faith should not stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God.<P>

David,<BR>Sorry to see you go. I'm thinking of staying away too, but for different reasons. We are working things out, and there are too many triggers to bring up the hurt. I hope I didn't annoy you with my thread yesterday. I just thought there must be something eluding us here. You are right to leave it in God's hands AS LONG AS you continue to do your part (what that is right now seems to be the question). The main prayer besides a change in her heart, would be for continues wisdom and strength for you. <BR>

SHA: I'm sorry to see you go. I understand your need to move on. I hope that you will sometimes stop in at MB to update us. I pray that your pain will be lifted soon. God be with you....

SHA/David - Your patience and hope in working to heal your marriage have been a continuing inspiration to me. I think I probably worked a lot harder than I might otherwise have to save my own marriage because of your posts. God bless you, man! (I'm crying quietly on my sandwich at work as I write this.) We will all miss you like crazy. Hope you at least plan to drop by occasionally and still give us updates once in a while. I also find a lot of hope in your signing your real name, that maybe now you can focus on finding out who you are and really being that person, caring for your children, finding your own path. I agree that after all your efforts and your W still did not come around, that Plan B may the thing. Also good news that you're going to talk with Steve. (It would be interesting if you could post just one more time afterwards, to tell us how it went and what he suggested.) Never lose heart, my friend. You truly are a noble knight. Regards, blessings and manly hugs from your fellow warrior in marriage,<P>--Wex

Sha, we are going to miss you, but will be lifting you up in prayer on Friday. <P>God bless You,<BR>mncon99@yahoo.com<P>TNT

Hi, I am still somewhat new here but I felt so touched by your letter that i had to respond. I find myself sitting here crying reading yours and Pauls posts. <BR> I found myself in a similiar situation recently when a very wise person told me that I had to STOP!!!!!! That I had made my marriage, H, and Children my god. And until I gave all of these things to "GOD" nothing would work. <BR> We are taught so much of our lives that we can do anything we put our minds to, just do it! Well I have learned so much through this painfull journey that we all share. NO YOU CANNOT DO THINGS ON YOUR OWN. <BR> Two days ago I prayed and told God to take it all, I was too weak to carry this burden and all of my efforts have been in vain. So take my H and all of these things from me now because I cannot do it!!! I told GOd to do as he wishes, I am done. SO now just to be patient and wait upon the Lord.<BR> No one knows what will happen in your life, but I will agree with the other post, your wife has a wonderful man infornt of her!!!<BR>It is hard not to be jealous (little bit) because you have something I want so badly for my H, JESUS. My H does not even believe, But my God has not failed me thus far and I know I will have that one day too. <BR> God Bless you!<P>------------------<BR>God is our refuge and STRENGTH,<BR>A very Present help in trouble.<BR>Psalm 46:1<BR>I sought the Lord and he heard me, <BR>and delivered me from all my fears.<BR>Psalms 34:4<P>