I usually start my own posts over in recovery,but the board seems so down the last few weeks that I thought I'd post here.<P>I'm calling us a success story. I think I have finally fully recovered from H's affair. I am one of the lucky ones and oh so grateful. I just want you all to know it can and does happen.<P>There were days when I didn't think it was ever going to work. I was lucky that H wanted it to, probably more than I did some days, and gave up OW almost without a glance backward. Poor thing never knew how really disposable she was to him when it came right down to it.<P>He took awhile to soul search and thought his affair maybe meant he didn't want to or didn't have it in him, to be a married man. His admitting his own depression and getting help for that played a major role in our recovery.Again he could see the glass half full! <P>I was doubtful during the past year that I could ever get past all of the emotions that linger after such a blow...far enough past them that I could relax again, but I think I've made it. I gave H a letter Friday, on that 1 year anniversary date, telling him how FEAR was still hanging over my head. He immediately responded by e-mail from work and these are some of the things he said.......that after he thought about what he did and realized how selfish he was that he was ashamed and finally realized who I was(plan a played a big part here)and how much I meant to him......that he was such an a$$ for being so selfish and having too much pride to admit he was doing wrong.....that if I could look into his heart and mind and see what God sees( he's since committed his life to the Lord and is walking the walk daily...amazing the new creation he is)that I would see a broken and repentent man, someone who values his wife more than ever.....so sorry it took THIS to bring him where he is today....that he realizes that it will still take time to prove to me that he will never stray again..... that his allegiance to God is what will keep him faithful, to both of us,God and me......that his ultimate desire is to make our relationship better as we grow old together. <P>I have concluded that it takes a WS who is very motivated to do some really hard work within themselves first and then in the marriage to make this work after infidelity. I have also concluded that for this BS it has taken the ability to truly forgive and ( although I will never forget)and release WS from their mistake.Resentment IS like poison and I discovered fear is as well, as it eats up each day's happiness and keeps you living in the past.<P>It will be my daily prayer that each WS on this board makes the changes it takes to renew themselves and their marriages and that each BS can forgive and move on from this dreadful chapter in their lives. All the best to all of you, my friends,who have given me more support and WISDOM than you'll ever know. This board is truly a blessing.

Thank you for such an awesome post! I am the WS and it has been 5 mos since d-day...things are much better and I am still working hard on me and my marriage every day. I can't wait until I am the one posting this same message!<BR>God bless and keep you.

It is so great to read your post. I'm sure you have given so many on this board hope for the future of their marraiges.<P>I so agree that it takes a lot of motivation on the WS part to do some work as well.<P>Congratulations on getting to this point!!!

mthrrhbard,<P>Congratulations on your recovery, and thanks for reminding me that it is possible to get through this and come out the other side.<P>Best wishes for continued happiness and success.<P>Peppermint

Dear MotherHbrd:<P>Thank you for the inspiration. There has been a lot of bad news on this site lately, a lot of recurrences which have left me feeling sad. Peppermint and Firestorm are forfront with good news.<P>And now you! Oh, my life is still with an H on the fence and in a deep fog. Even with his sister visiting(first time in years)he is distant. But we move on in a truce-atmosphere, no fighting, but no talking or progress either.<P>Thank you for posting here, we need more of you recovery people over here! I really needed this shot of hope tonite.<P>God Bless!

Thanks for giving us all some hope. I know I am trying very hard to make those changes taht I need to make my marriage better, and in a year, I hope I will be posting the same kind of message myself. . .<P>Thanks for the inspiration and the prayers!

<BR> <BR> <P>God Bless You in your renewed marriage.<P>What about rededication in church with witnesses and an anniversary photo session?

Dear Mthrrhbard:<P>I haven't been over to the recovery board yet this morning, but if you haven't done so already, please cut and paste this message over there as well.<P>WE NEED TO SEE POSITIVE stories over in recovery too! <P>Congrats on your continued success in your marriage! Peace, ~Marie

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR><BR><B>I have concluded that it takes a WS who is very motivated to do some really hard work within themselves first and then in the marriage to make this work after infidelity. I have also concluded that for this BS it has taken the ability to truly forgive and ( although I will never forget)and release WS from their mistake.Resentment IS like poison and I discovered fear is as well, as it eats up each day's happiness and keeps you living in the past.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Congratulations on your progress. I only hope that I can get to where you are at.<P>

Thanks everyone for your blessings and good wishes.<P>Starry eyed....keep working and success will be yours one day soon as well.God's blessings to you.<P>TT....I know you have been struggling for a long time and have been hit with things some of us cannot even fathom getting over. You are a special woman,steadfast and strong and most of all wise and patient.I have no doubt that you will be absolutely fine no matter how things turn out with H.I'm praying for you my friend.<P>Peppermint.....You've endured my worst nightmare,I truly feel your pain. I've read Firestorm"s posts and I sense that he's really sincere in what he's come to realize. Stop and renew yourselves along the way with all the hard work that is ahead. God bless you both.<P>BurnedSpouse......Just remember, baby steps,baby steps. Ws even stumbles and falls when they are learning to take those baby steps. When you can see the movement forward,no matter how small, that is time to rejoice and hold those steps close to your heart to give you the energy to keep believing recovery can happen. All the best to you.<P>SKM.....I think you are one WS here that every BS wishes they had. You have grown so incredibly since your arrival here, you have much to be proud of. I so hope your H can see what a changed person you are. I have strong feelings that a message like mine WILL be yours one day soon.Keep up the good work and God-bless you!<P>Weep......H is such a private kind of guy,I think I'll be lucky to get a public renewal of vows for our 25th, which is still a long ways off. We did do a joyful, tearful restatement of our vows at an "I Still Do" marriage conference.As for the pictures, I'm waiting to lose some weight I've been wanting to get rid of, then we'll both be ready to say "cheese". God's blessings for you and H.<P>Ohmy Marie.......thanks for the congratulations! Best wishes for continued success for you as well!<P>FA.....I know you are hoping! You have made the right steps , I believe, in being honest with your W about where you are with all of this after a years time.Hopefully with her knowing outright that you are less than happy with the progress and that she stands a real chance of losing you, will stir her to do what she needs to do. I'm praying for you both.

God Bless and I hope you have many many more happy days.

Mthrrhbard,<P>Congratulations. I hope I will be able to say the same soon. I am truly glad you have gotten past it and are moving on. Please don't be a stranger around here. Many get better and leave.

Tigger....Hoping things get better for you and that your prayers are answered.<P>Schizzo......Thanks for the kind words. I'm not going anywhere,but I'm not here as religiously as I use to be.Will be starting a new part time job next week and I have a feeling that that will cut into my MB time a bit more,but I'll be lurking when I can. Hope things are going good for you and H.