Brief history, hubby is a flirt always has been, always bothered me. I recently had an internet affair with him, he thought I was someone else, and trashed me, looks and person. Almost set up a meeting with her(me) lots of sex talk. When confronted he said he was venting past angers and the sex was all in fun. Asked to end, he agreed, but lied kept it going and said it was over. Then he claims he has rediscovered his love for me and he has been very nice. Probably heres why..<P>Now theres a real person. I wrongfully, because of the above incident decided to look into his work email. He has been receiveing mail, which he deletes(why), from a "coworker". He has sent her our kids pictures, she has given him small gifts, and sends him pictures, smiley faces etc. Okay you say just a coworker? well today he gets a fancy "you bring a sparkle to my day" note..Now are we still in the co worker mode? <P>So what do I do, if I confront him he will know I have been snooping and change his password and I will be totally in the dark. Letting it go causes me to hate him and its hard to be nice when he walks in the door. He will just lie himself out of it again, I have considered waiting, or trying to see what she looks like, hoping she may not be his type(350lbs) what the heck do I do? I hate to cut off my link. Help???

I wish I had some great advice for you. But all I can do is let you know someone is listening and cares. If it were me I think I would start printing out those emails for when you do confront him. He won't be able to deny written proof. But as you said if you confront he will just get sneakyer. Maybe you could arrange to get an annon. letter / note from someone stating that you need to look into h and co-worker and have it signed "another co-worker"? Sneaky and dishonest ? you bet, but so is what he is doingf. And no honey that sounds like way more than just friends/co-workers, you are no crazy, unless I am too, of course the jury is still out on that. <P>------------------<BR>Deb<P>Hepatitis C, Please educate yourself ! <A HREF="http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In" TARGET=_blank>http://www.hepatitis-central.com/<P>In</A> memory of a very dear friend <A HREF="http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp" TARGET=_blank>http://fathom.org/teemingmillions/wally.adp</A>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by personal:<BR><B>Brief history, hubby is a flirt always has been, always bothered me. I recently had an internet affair with him, he thought I was someone else, and trashed me, looks and person. Almost set up a meeting with her(me) lots of sex talk. When confronted he said he was venting past angers and the sex was all in fun. Asked to end, he agreed, but lied kept it going and said it was over. Then he claims he has rediscovered his love for me and he has been very nice. Probably heres why..<P>Now theres a real person. I wrongfully, because of the above incident decided to look into his work email. He has been receiveing mail, which he deletes(why), from a "coworker". He has sent her our kids pictures, she has given him small gifts, and sends him pictures, smiley faces etc. Okay you say just a coworker? well today he gets a fancy "you bring a sparkle to my day" note..Now are we still in the co worker mode? <P>So what do I do, if I confront him he will know I have been snooping and change his password and I will be totally in the dark. Letting it go causes me to hate him and its hard to be nice when he walks in the door. He will just lie himself out of it again, I have considered waiting, or trying to see what she looks like, hoping she may not be his type(350lbs) what the heck do I do? I hate to cut off my link. Help???</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I know this is very sneaky but I would print out the emails first of all, then make copies of them, at least 3. Then I would send one to him at work, one to her at work, and one to his boss at work anonymously. He will be terrified that you will find out and about losing his job. She will also be nervous and it will probably end before anything too irrepairable starts. Good-luck<BR>

Ohhhhh, burnedagain I like the way you think ! Sneaky and not nice, but just like me, only smarter !

Majority of affairs are between co-workers. So you need to get very real and plan and do your utmost to prevent one because the signs are there that they are close.<P>Visit the office every now and then for lunch with H if possible. <P>Get to church with H and into counselling - you have good reason to because of the internet affair. Your H is a flirt is a problem, you need to help him realise that in the context of marriage or any relationship that matters, this is damaging. Ask him what if the tables are turned?<P>Take Care<BR>weep