Well I cheated on my H and after 5 months he found out. The guy that I cheated with was a good friend at least it started off that way. After so many nights and days of doing things together it just finally happened and the bad part was it was the best I had ever had-(It was my first black guy). Anyways my H found out and was outraged he said it was over and he didn't trust me at all. I tried to make things better I told him that I would not contact him anymore. He said that was good but it would still take time for him to forgive me and be able to trust me again. Well I didn't contact him for three or four weeks and then I broke and called him and we started talking and I realize how much I'd missed his voice and his laughter. Needless to say we did not have sex we just talk alot on the net. He wrote me songs and poems. Well I got caught again this time my H saw one of the e-mail that I sent to the other guy (we'll just call him "C"). Well I don't have to tell you that he was not happy at all and that was the finally straw with him. Now H is saying that's it's over and I had a decision to make.<BR>The decision that I came up with is that I had 6years with H and 5 months with C. My marriage meant more to me. So I wrote C a note letting him know that it was really over and if my marriage was going to end that it would not be from a lack of me not trying. If marriage ended because H and I just couldn't work things out that's one thing, but to let my marriage end because of something stupid that I did was not going to happen. Anyways it's been 3 days that I've spoken to C and I feel good about that but I never realized how big 1800sqft was until I was sleeping on one side of the house and my H on the other. He did not believe me when I told him that I did not sleep with C this second time he caught me. But he didn't believe me and I don't blame him. <P>So my question to you is what can I do to help my H trust me and forgive me? Or will it just take time?<P>P.S. I'm a very impatient person, hope that doesn't become a fault.<P>P.S.S. Check out wb page www.homestead.com/ladygap99/Ladygap.html

well, it sounds like you are on the right track! seems like a lot of people fall "off the wagon" and make contact with OP after it is over (like, my H did not end his affair for a year after i found out! even lived with her without my knowing it--talk about a breach of trust).<BR>I'm afraid it WILL take time for your H to trust you again. Just keep up the effort of being as open with him as you can, and if he asks anything, answer him honestly.<BR>Anyway, you'll get a lot of support here, we are all willing to help, and several of us have been through almost the exact same thing (see 'deceiver' and 'hopeful1771' posts).<BR>good luck!<P>------------------<BR>for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, till death do us part.<P><BR>