Hi this is Heaven, I'm back. In January I caught my husband picking up a <BR>hooker, promised that he was not ever going to cheat on me again and that <BR>this was his first time ever. We were having a minor problem at home, not <BR>anything that should have sent him to pick up a hooker. I was rambling <BR>through his belongings yesterday, and came across a pack of condoms. A three <BR>pack mind you, well only one was there and the other two were gone. I don't <BR>want to come out and ask him about the others, but that broke my heart. He <BR>told me that he had never cheated on me. I know that the condoms are only <BR>good for 3 years and the expiration date on the pack said 8/99. So what <BR>should I do. Why would he be carrying a pack of condoms if he never used <BR>them. We have been togeather for 6 years. What should I do. I am about to <BR>go out of town for a training class and I don't think that I will be able to <BR>concentrate on anything, until I know the truth. I will be gone for 1 week <BR>and then will be back home. Maybe I forgot to tell you that by the way my <BR>husband is a otr truck driver. Is this going to work. I now feel the same <BR>way I felt when I caught him picking up the hooker. I've about had enough of <BR>the lies and deceit. Don't really know how much more I can stand. Someone <BR>help me. Our relationship has gotten better, but now this. <P><P>------------------<BR>HW

HI heaven<BR>Yes,you need to confront him,I know it is hard but it is what has to be done so it dont eat at you and listen to your inter witness. thatis a part of healing for you and then what ever the outcome is then you go from there.<BR> <BR> GOD BLESS.<BR> HSA

hi

Hi Mercy, Well I did confront him and he came up with a few lies, 1st he did not even remember where the condom came from. 2nd He says the condom is 7 months old and we are suppose to be trying to mend our marriage and start all over, but you know that is not good enough for me, because I gave him the oppourtunity to tell me the truth about past affairs when I caught him with the hooker. He told me he had never messed around on me. Well now I feel even more deceived. The asking turned pretty ugly, now we are not speaking today, of course he is out on the road, so I don't have to look at him, which is probably for the best. I am leaving tomorrow to go to Maryland for my job, for 1 week. I don't really know what to do. I feel like just saying to hell with all this. I believe once a cheater always a cheater and once a liar always a liar. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's not been proven any different so far. My H is obsessed with sex I think, and I do believe that he has messed around on me, and I don't know how to get pass that. I am considering going to counseling when I get back. I have to take things one day at a time right now. I'm hurt and angry. He says that the past should be the past, well I can't heal like that, I need to know the truth and he is not willing to tell the truth.<P>Heaven <P>------------------<BR>HW

Hi HSA, Well I did confront him and he came up with a few lies, 1st he did not even remember where the condom came from. 2nd He says the condom is 7 months old and we are suppose to be trying to mend our marriage and start all over, but you know that is not good enough for me, because I gave him the oppourtunity to tell me the truth about past affairs when I caught him with the hooker. He told me he had never messed around on me. Well now I feel even more deceived. The asking turned pretty ugly, now we are not speaking today, of course he is out on the road, so I don't have to look at him, which is probably for the best. I am leaving tomorrow to go to Maryland for my job, for 1 week. I don't really know what to do. I feel like just saying to hell with all this. I believe once a cheater always a cheater and once a liar always a liar. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's not been proven any different so far. My H is obsessed with sex I think, and I do believe that he has messed around on me, and I don't know how to get pass that. I am considering going to counseling when I get back. I have to take things one day at a time right now. I'm hurt and angry. He says that the past should be the past, well I can't heal like that, I need to know the truth and he is not willing to tell the truth.<BR>Heaven <P><P>------------------<BR>HW

MERCYS H <P>HI, HOW are you doing?<BR> The truth has to come out before you can start healing that is what worked for me so i could start working on my feelings and once i did that then Icould start talking to my wife and to do that the love has to be there.<BR> I think it is a great idea to go and see a counslor and I know that will help a lot.<BR> GOD BLESS<BR> HSA

Hi this is Heaven, I'm just lurking. I'm back from my training and it went fairly well. I did finally ask my H about the condom and he came back with a bunch of lies, I finally told him to just forget it, because I really did not care. I am at that point right now, I know that If I don't get professional help, I may eventually leave here. I have never had the patience for bull and that is what I think this is. I don't have any trust in him anymore and I really can't love someone and not trust them. I have thought of going on with my life and also of having an affair. I don't think I could live with myself if I had the affair, that is the only reason I haven't done so. What does it take to make it better? It stays on my mind all the time, and sometimes it seems as though it is going to just destroy me. The hurt get's so bad sometimes, it is unbearable. I keep thinking that sooner or later he will do it again, even though he said he'd never do that again. I have read Dr. Harley's book how to survive an affair and every time I think it's getting better, something trigger the thought and it starts all over again. I have no one to talk to so this stays within me and all I do is think about it over and over. I live in the Georgia area and don't know any good therapist here to talk to, if anyone can give me some names I'd really appreciate it. My H thinks that I am doing fine, but deep down inside this is destroying my feelings for this marriage. I have been trying so hard to forget, but it seems to be impossible. The first affair started on 1/18/2000, maybe it's still to soon to hope for results. How long will it take? Please pray for me. I really need help now.<P>Heaven<BR>