I read your plans A&B. and it tears me up to think that there are people out there who have to suffer an ongoing affair. But then I ask myself, why has my wife agreed not to see this gut again. The second I insisted she not see him, she agreed. But I asked her the other day if she really agreed that it was best to have zero contact with him. And I told her several positive reasons it would be best for our relationship if they didn't see each other, even as friends. She said that she was scared to death that I would beat her and kill him if she dared. But that she hoped someday i would get over my anger, and they could be friends again.<P>Wow! first of all, I am not a wife beater or murderer. I was very angry, and hit the air a couple of times in the last few weeks, but I never threatened her. I have to admit that I did a stupid thing by confronting him. I can't say why, and maybe I wanted it to get physical, but when it could have, I backed down. <P>Second of all, she just doesn't see my point at all. I don't know why this friendship out of the dozens she has had to wind up in bed. But I can't take a single step forward until I can get him out of my mind. I don't think she can concentrate on us until he is out of her mind. She says she doesn't compare us and she says they aren't in love, but how can I start to believe her if they still share secrets and share laughter, or any life at all together. <BR>I hope I will someday not burst into tears or fly into a rage if I see them together in a bar. But I also hope that her desire to see him doesn't outweigh my needs right now. I would hope that she would prioritize me higher than the friendship between them. <P>Am I doing anything right?
