I hope I am not boring everyone, but I tried to post and can't find my letter, so here I go again. Man is this drainign at this point. Three days ago, I had a nightmare about my husband being unfaithful, right after he left for work early in the am. I had a gut feeling that evening that I needed to ask him if he had been faithful to me in all of the 18 years that we had been married. He said yes but I was not satisfied. I asked him if that was by Clinton standards or by Jesus' standard. He then proceeded to confess ofver the next two days (he did not go to work) through layers of stories and lies to finally get to point of confessing to being with seven prostitutes over the last 11 years of our marriage. I am not sure if all the truth is out, but my question is how does this kind of perversion have anything to do with our relationship? I am a Spirit filled catholic and he professes to be the same. There is nothing in His Needs Her Needs that deals with this kind of infidelity. We have charted my fertility for 8 years, and had never abstained from sex for more than a week at a time, even when I gave birth to our 5 children. I have tried to be creative and fun in our sex life, and I don't have a clue what this is about. I am devestated to say the least. We have spent alot of time praying over this the last three days. Please help! I don't know how to cope with this confusion and lack of understanding. My own sexual identity is lost. I don't want to be regarded as a prostitute, but I feel like I am dirty for being sexually active with my husband now. I dont even like to look in my underwear drawer, and see female undergarments. I need help.<P>------------------<BR>

Pennyone<P> Let me start by assuring you that you are not a prostitute by any means. I can only compare your feelings to my feelings about my wife's affair. True it is a hard thing to get over. Her affair was short (few weeks ?) and I still have some problems dealing with it sometimes. I have also been married for 18 years and love my wife dearly. discovering something like this does rock the marriage but it can be worked out. When things are working between the wife and myself it is better then it has ever been in our 18 years of marriage. We have had to improve our marriage better then ever in order to survive this.<P> I think it is best for you to follow the same steps as everyone else. Normally a guy by the name of NSR greets people that come here, he is on vacation so I'll point you in the same direction. Go to the following web site<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html</A> <P>and read over the material he has there. Make sure you look over all the material by Dr. Harley. this will give you a much better insight into what you are dealing with.<P>I have one more thing I want you to read<P><BR>Love is Patient, Love is Kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>1 Corinthians 13:4-8<P>Joe<P>