Well, I think my marriage is coming to a end really quickly. My H said he would stop seeing the OW and where did I find him this morning.....Her Apt. I went and knocked on the door. He said he went to talk to her because I talked to his boss yesterday and told him of the affair. He said it was over with her but he still have many feelings for her. He says he doesn't know if he even loves me anymore. REal nice considering our baby is due is 6 weeks. I just think it is time to call it quits. He is so hateful to me and to my 2 older children (which he adopted). He left to go visit some friends for the night and I don't even know if I want him to come back. He has said some very hurtful things to me. What do some of you think?<P>------------------<BR>NotSure2K

I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. Before this happened to me I never really considered how much pain so many people are in all the time. <P>I think it is possible that he was telling you the truth about why he was at her apt this a.m. I also think he was very defensive and may have said things he didn't mean. Give him time to cool off tonight and try to approach things differently tomorrow. Don't accuse. Tell him how you feel about him (do you still love him?) Get him to agree to put all decisions about your future together on hold for at least six months so you can care for your very pregnant self, your two children, and your new baby. Is this his first biological child? He may be scared or feel useless at home. Let him know calmly and specifically what kind of help and support you need from him to care for his child. Try not to push him away. Let him know what a good job he's doing when he does help out.<P>I think that you really do want to save your marriage, as I do mine. Tell him that calmly. And please try to take care of yourself and get some rest. Eat well. Put your feet up when you can. Carrying a child when there are two little ones around is so exhausting. There is no reason to rush to any conclusion with your H. <P>Keep us posted on how you're doing. <P>Tressa

Actually, I think you are just now at the point where there is a real chance to rebuild.<P>Take it slow, don't do anything rash. Of course he doesn;t know if he loves you right now...he's still very confused. He is probably still dealing with his feelings for her (withdrawal from that relationship). It took my H a couple of months to fully withdraw and start to really be able to reconnect with me. <P>My advice would be to keep on with Plan A, and be as patient as you possibly can. These things take time...if you and he can realize that and give it time, you stand a good chance of being able to rebuild...<P>Hang in there--<P>Kathi<P>