Am I doing wrong or right? I don't know. Maybe I screwed up. Tonight, my H's best friend wanted to go to a bar w/my H. His wife is suffering from cancer, wanted to talk to my H. They haven't talk to each other much lately because of his W's cancer and our problem, but I knew his friend wanted to talk to my H for a long time. A couple days ago, since I was doing good on PlanA, I told my H "it's ok to go to a bar with him." (I was half smiling and half crying.) Stupid me! It's a small town, he might run into the OW at the bar. Did I do this wrong? He said he's going to tell me if anything happens. (He didn't tell me when the OW called him a couple weeks ago though). There is always possibilities that they run into each other at a place like a bar, which was the A started to take a place in the first place. What am I doing let that happen? Dr. H says absolutely no contact, doesn't he? One thing is my H hadn't totally agreed w/MB principles. If I say "don't go here and there" "don't do this and that" will be LBs. Maybe nothing happens tonight, but do I let him go everytime? I can't do that. She might even find out he's out there every week. I don't know what to do.

alien,<P>When... "Dr. H says absolutely no contact, doesn't he?"...<BR>...that applies when you are in recovery...<P>Are you in recovery yet?...<P>In a small town... it will be almost impossible to not have occasional contact.<P>Don't let this drive you up the wall!<P>Praying for you... <P>Jim

Thanks Jim,<BR>No we are not in recovery yet... I'd like to, but not sure how much he wants to... We'll both have a session with Dr. H, so I'm waiting for that.<P>He came home and told me that they saw her car at the parking lot, so went to a different bar. Avoided a contact just by accident, if they'd gotten there first, she'd come in. <P>Then my H said he told that he might go there to another common friend of my H and the OW, I'm sure she heard it from him and waited for my H to come in. SHE IS AFTER HIM. Her H is divorcing her, she has nothing to lose anymore.<P>I mentioned my H about a wierd phone call from our phone company, a woman asked me if we were moving and disconnecting our phone, her reason asking me was "I might have wrote down a wrong number when the customer called." A phone company wrote down a wrong phone #, and didn't ask the customer's name? Give me a break! It's a small town and it's frightening, she could have her friends anywhere.<P>Another thing bugged me was that I didn't tell him about this phone call until last night because I thought he'd think I'm paranoid and crazy. He didn't, and even tried to think of who that could be instead.<P>I guess the woman could call from anywhere and has nothing to do with phone co. I know I'm in too much detail and that doesn't matter, just can't help venting out somehow!<P>Maybe we have to take some kind of action to cut contact off... I suppose it comes back to if my H will agree to follow MB or not. All right, I'm done. Thanks for letting me talk!

Alien: You mentioned you and your husband were going to have a session with Dr. H. Is this something my husband and I can request?

lostsoulmate,<BR>It's a telephone counseling with Dr. H. 888-639-1639 to make an appo, or click "counsel" under "Marriage Builders" banner at the top of this forum, you'll get more info on counseling. It's $95 for a session and it's worth it...