First let me thank all of you for responding to my previous post. All of your caring, prayer and advice was so helpful and touching.<P>As an update I did confront him regarding the phone numbers and after the first half an hour of denials he final confessed to at least 5 other affairs. He said he did not love me and that is why he had all the affairs and that he was staying with me because it was the right thing to do. I told him that if he did not love me that staying together was not right and asked him to move out over the weekend. He left and I actually felt a sigh of relief that it was over and divorce was inevitable. Although my heart was broken and my life turned inside out there was some relief in the knowledge that it was finally over and I could start over. But to my surprise I was woken the next morning at 6 am by my H saying that he wanted to work on our marriage, go to counseling, and that he was sorry for all the pain he caused me. What a wake up call. I agreed to keep working on the marriage and start counseling that same day. We have our first appointment with a counselor on Wednesday. I have so many mixed emotions I can not even begin to list them all. I don’t know if there are more things that he is still not telling me and I really don’t know if I will have the strength to ever trust him again. I keep reading all the MB materials and I am trying to meet his needs but it is so hard when I am so depressed that all I want to do is sleep. My only hope is that counseling will help unlock his feelings and we can overcome these past events. I just feel like my whole marriage has been a sham. He started cheating on me after our first year of marriage. My H likes to drink a lot and says that I have changed and he hasn’t and wants me to be the same way I was when we first met. But we now have 2 children a home and a lot of financial responsibilities that are all left up to me. I am older now and drinking till I am drunk is just not a priority for me anymore. I enjoy drinking wine before and with dinner but getting drunk is just not my idea of fun. I guess that his drinking is a major player in all the affairs he has had also. Because he knows how I feel about his drinking he started drinking away from the home because I asked that he not get drunk in front of the children. Now that we have decided to work on our marriage I must accept his drinking at home so he doesn’t feel that need to drink out in bars and meet other women. Another dilemma. I am sorry for the length of this post I seem to go on and on these days. Thanks for listening and please say a short prayer for me cause I know that God will answer someday. <BR>

bronkenup,<BR>I'm so sorry for your pain. I can feel it too. Today my counselor told me that he concerns about my H's drinking habit. Everytime he drinks he makes a stupid decision. I didn't realize that until my counselor told me. He insisted on going to bars, now I know why. How is drinking at home working? I know mine will say "it's just not same." I don't mind going with him but I know he doesn't want to.<P>Anyway, it was really good that your H decided to stay and get counseling! He must realized what's coming after he tried to leave. My H still with me but his mind left. I don't know how long it will take for him to get over and I'm not confident about getting myself through. I'll try for my 2 children, they are my reason.<P>I keep you in my prayers. Hang in there, and good luck.

brokenup,<P>I am so sorry to hear that you have found more affairs. I know that finding these things out incrementally is very hard.<P>It is very hard to work on a marriage when you need to work on yourself and getting back to being okay. <P>It sounds as if your H may have a self esteem problem and that he is trying to make up for it with the affairs. Even though the affairs started so early, your H probably still loves you (my H started a phone affair after only six months of us being married, but I do believe he loves me). It is hard to believe, but it can be true.<P>Hang in there. I know this is incredibly hard, but you will come through this okay.<P>All the best to you. --HBC