It has been 3 weeks since my husband has moved out. The official move has not come where he's taken all of his things, but that is to come very soon. I never see him and he never contacts me unless I have contacted him first. He's currently staying with OW while they look for a place of their own. When we do talk, he actually tells me about their whereabouts and goingons as if we are not still married. At times I bring up the pain I am in and he quickly changes the subject because he says, "I can be a friend to you, but I cannot discuss your feelings for me with you." It is so painful that he has so easily moved on and is excited about his new life with no second thoughts about the life we once had together. He never initiates a phone call to speak with our daughter - instead he waits till I have called him asking for something to inquire about her. That also hurts.<BR>Tuesday, I had such peace with my heart and soul - I cannot describe the feeling or where it even came from. I found some answers within myself of why I wasn't a better wife and how I really neglected his emotional needs. I was so stressed of raising children all day and meeting their emotional needs that by the time the children were sleeping, I had no energy or desire to meet my H emotional needs, let alone my own. I felt refreshed to make that revelation. I wanted so much to share it with H, not in hopes of him taking me back, but just to let him know that I acknowledge and accept my part in the breaking down of our marriage. I contacted him about this on Wednesday morning and he seemed interested in what I had to say. He did not comment or accept my apology, but rather said he would try to call me later that day to discuss more. I was so happy I had decided to make the effort to share this with him. Well, he never did call me back and I felt myself spirally into a depression again. I guess I was hopeful that he would take what I had said to heart and want to contact me again. That of course did not happen because he is still focused on his new love and them making a life together. Everything in my world has been turned upside down by this event - I have to find a job (I am a SAHM), I have to move in with family because I have no money, and I have to learn to live without my best friend and lover. It is so disconcerting and terribly scarey. Not to mention the alienation I feel by having to become a single parent. I thought me and my H would be tackling all of parenthood together and now I feel so empty at the thought of not doing it together. Right now more than ever I need to be able to discuss these fears with him, but I am not allowed to because he will not let me. He flatly tells me, "I have moved on, it's time for you to do the same." Move on? After only one month of knowing my H doesn't love me or want me anymore? Is he joking?<BR>The harsh reality is that our marriage is over - he has made that perfectly clear. And as difficult as it is, I do need to move on eventually, but it is so hard when I have so much to deal with and face at one time that leaves me no time to myself to grieve and sort through my emotions.<BR>That's where this website is such a blessing. It's one of the few ways I can vent and have someone understand.<BR>Need to cry for a while. Haven't cried for a week - felt as though I was all cried out.<BR>Desperately need it now.<P>Silvress<BR>

silvress, I feel so sorry for you and I hope the pain starts to go away at some point. Did you and your husband go to counseling at all? How long has he known this woman? <P>I really think he is in a fairy tale world right now. What's going to happen when he realizes this person is not perfect? Your husband has to still love you. No one can loose the love for their mate that quickly. <P>I know it;s hard but try to keep your head up when you can but if you need to cry go ahead. My prayers are with you and your daughter. You sound like a wonderful person and I hope that you realize that and keep the faith. take care and keep posting. I know that really helps me when things seem really bad.

Confused33 - <BR>Supposedly my husband has only know this woman for 2 months. Their initial contact of intimacy was not even one month ago. I begged to go to counseling, he refuses saying he doesn't believe in it and that it wouldn't help anyway because he does not want to reconcile. It hurts that I have stood by him through so much that he has done such as getting in trouble with the law on several occasions, and now the first time he has a problem with me, he chooses to just run away. And that's exactly what he's doing - running away.<P>As you probably know yourself, I have good days and bad days. Today was bad because he called to ask for a phone number of someone to give him a referrence to move into a new place with this OW. I want to scream when he nonchalantly throws his affair in my face and how he's moved on to a whole new life so quickly. Monday of this week, he actually screamed at me over the phone, "That's right, I f@#$ing left you because you're nothing but a b!$%h and it's all your fault our marriage is ending so stop throwing it in my face." All I had said to him was that it must be easier for him because he had a choice in the matter and I didn't. Not exactly a comment to warrant such a mean response.<P>Well, I'm probably babbling. Thanks for your support.<BR>Silvress

You aren't babbling at all. Sounds like he's just running away. I bet it's not his marriage he's running away from but other things in his life. Two months is not long enough to decide you want to leave your family. Two months is not long enough to decide this other person is the right one for you. He's just going through the motions and I bet she is too.<P>Hang in there. I really think he wants to talk with you but he's ashamed of himself. He may even fill too embarrassed to change the situation at this point. I would try the plan B stuff at this point. It seem like you may be beyond plan A sense he is moved out. <P>This is all very new to me so maybe some of the experts could better help. I just think he needs to miss you and his child. I know that everything in your life seems upside down right now but please try to hang in there. Why does life have to be so crazy??? I wish I knew the answer....don't worry about rambling, I think it's better to get this stuff out so we don't totally lose it...smile

Silvress,<BR>Bad day for everybody... I can feel your pain. My situation is getting close to yours. My H left house and staying in our camper tonight. He's mad at something he can't tell me. His mind is already left me, it seems like. Although I'm scared, I'm ready to move on. Just want to know what he's up to. Another difference is he wants kids badly, I think that's why he can't tell me "it's over."<P>I'm posting on General Questions lately, "BUSTED big" and "warning... just letting my anger out" explain where I'm at, if you have any opinion about my H... appreciate it...<P>I keep you in my prayers, although I'm prettey depressed right now, let's not lose our faith.

Silvress,<P>Confused is right...he is running from something....and most likely it is himself.<P>My H did the same thing...somehow me and his family convinced him to seek counseling. He is still going, but he moved out in Feb and he works with the OP every day....(theirs is an intense EA)...<P>It is so hard to hear the things come from their mouths, esp. when they appear so nonchalant about it. It is like their conscience is shut down. As hard as it is (and you wont be able to do this everytime!!) deflect what he says....keep telling yourself it is the "fog" talking.<P>Try to think about it rationally....normal people do not "turn" on someone they loved!!!<P>I told my H that very quickly when he was being so cruel...I said to him "whatever I wasn't to you, I was never your enemy" "Explain to me what I did that was so terrible to have you suddenly treat me this way" Of course he didn't have an answer.<P>And he still doens't and we are still in limbo.....<P>But my H also gave up on the kids in the beginning...It was awful.. My children (11, 9, 5) adored their dad and he them.....<P>He is still walled off emotionally to them, but he does a lot with them...He takes them away for weekends and sees them 2 nights a week and evn has one spend the night during the week. He has upped his time with them as I've cut off my seeing or talking to him!!!<P>My H just tells me he's "changed" but into what he can't tell me.<P><BR>Keep reading what you can here....Keep doing plan A.....reality always sets in!!!!!<P>Try very hard to not engage when he begins being nasty.....gently remind him that he never talked that way to you before, he doesn't need to now.<P>He is just doing that to make you hate him and to justify his behavior. I really think it is almost uncontrollable. My h even admitted such to me. I asked him why he was lying to me and saying cruel things and he actually said he didn't know!!!!<P>We just don't know how long the fog will last.. In my H's case it could go on long because reality will never set in with the two of them working together and being "great friends and coworkers"....<P>I guess it will just depend on how well she can meet all of his needs at work!!!!!!!

Tootrusting- <BR>You are absolutely right. Everyone tells me, the sooner they move in with eachother, the sooner they can get tired of eachother.<BR>But the more he's rude and inconsiderate to me, the less I want to be with him. I know he is just acting that way as you said, to make me hate him and feel justified in what he's doing, but I really want our family back together for the sake of the children.<BR>He was a good father as long as I was around - he needs guidance in how to interact with his children. Sad but true.I don't trust him to be a good father when I'm not around. I can't explain it, but he has the potential to be a good parent around the right influences and a lousy parent around the wrong ones.<BR>Thank you for your support. You make a lot of sense. Hope all goes well with your situation.<BR>Silvress

Silvress,<BR>I'm not home tonight and don't have much time to write, just wanted to check on you, since you're having a very hard time. All I can say is when he's agressive, he's feeling guilty. He's trying to make himself busy with his new life because there was something wrong with his life before. And it is NOT you, it's him. I'm here thinking of you, hang in there. I'll talk to you later.<BR>Amy

Amy-<BR>Thank you so much for your support. I don't know what I'd do without all the guidance I get here. H never came around for his stuff yesterday and of course didn't call either.<BR>Called this morning and said he'd be here on July 4th instead. Funny, I guess he feels like that truly will be his independence day - I should view it as the same. The more I see H for the person he is now, the more I realize he's always been an inconsiderate person who only thought of himself. I just always made excuses for him to everyone and especially to myself. Why do I even want to be with someone like that when there is undoubtedly some wonderful man out there who will pamper me and make me feel like the woman I am! I say that with such confidence today but tomorrow when he comes I'll be crying a river. Well, at least there are some moments when I can laugh at the situation. Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts - I'm thinking about you as well. Hope all is well.<P>Silvress

Silvress, I know so well how you feel... Everything happened so suddenly here I spent a lot of time just WISHING so hard that he would just return to his old self!!!!<P>But it is now going on 5 months....he still has made no move in either direction. OP or me (except to see the kids more) The worst part is that he seems to make NO connection regarding the consequences of his actions!!! Do you know what I mean??? It's like his conscience is not on!!!!<P>I think the best thing to do is to try to make ourselves happy!!!! We certainly cannot control them or make them see the light.

I especially relate to what you said about being a stay-at-home mom. If my H leaves, I too will have to find a job. Luckily, he will support me a lot and has said he would give me the house. Still, it will mean huge changes for our son. To go from Mom being home all the time, to Dad moving out, Mom getting a job and having to be in after school care will affect him greatly. I just got His Needs, Her Needs from the library and really agree when he says divorce is almost never best for the kids. If the BS is willing to make changes and work on the marriage, it's clearly better for the kids for WS to stay.<P>I'm relating so much to what I read. I'm really buying into this philosophy. I don't know if it's just because it's what I need to hear right now or what. <BR>

mcmp-<BR>I think you're absolutely right about staying together and resolving differences for the children. Unfortunately, my H doesn't see things that way. He has custody of a 7 year old son from previous marriage. I've raise the boy since he was 1 1/2. I begged H to stay so that the boy could have stability and love - I love him like he's my own. Again, H did not agree. He claims I can see the child any time I want but I can forsee that won't last. The OW will pressure him into leaving me out of the child's life since I'm not the biological mother. That breaks my heart and my stepson is already missing me and his sister so much.<BR>I still hope that H comes into reality soon.<BR>Unlike your H, mine refuses to support me any longer. He's moving out tomorrow, July 4th - guess it's his Independence Day for real. When he leaves, the money goes with him, so I have to find a way to pay for everything until I can move out. Then when I do move, I'll have to move in with family. UGH!! I hate that the most. It's so hard to live with other people after you've been on your own for so long. Use your H for all the money you can get; get him to pay for schooling for you or whatever it takes until you're where you want to be career wise in life. I don't have that option because my H is just a selfish jerk.<BR>Definitely follow the principles of this website if your H is actually responsive to you changing for him to stay. Again, my H refused counseling and everything. He's just too blinded by the newness and excitement of relationship with OW. Maybe things could be different in the future, but who knows...by then I might not want him anymore. <BR>Take care and good luck.<BR>Silvress

Silvress,<BR>I'm home now... I had a fun, came home, things are still same here. It was good to have a break though. My H has no answer. He got a cold and fever, he seems pretty depressed. He refused session w/Dr.H yesterday, said "I don't want to be involved with that stuff." Means he has no desire to work it out, he just wants to wait and wait while I suffer.<P>Your situation with your stepson is heartbreaking. I can only imagine your terrible pain, I'm so sorry. It is so unfair because you love your stepson so much, the pain get worse as you love him more.<P>He has no reason to put you thru this, I see why your H gets so diffensive and mean to you. Remember it's not your fault at all. Probably he'll change his attitude toward your daughter later on, after he realizes what he's doing to his own child, but now he's just trying to run away from what he's done to you and his daughter. He just can't face it. Also you've been so good to your stepson, and that's why he had to cut you off from his son, it's sad but I really think that's the only reason...<P>It's so hard to remember that our Hs live in fantasy right now. But in your case, moving in after only 2 months of knowing each other, dissapointment will come very soon.<P>I don't know very much about legal stuff, but you have to have some kind of financial support either from him or something else. Do you have any income right now? I'm thinking about seeing a laywer just in case he moves out. I'm not a citizen so I really have to protect myself and kids even though my H said he'd give me no financial problem.<P>Are you seeing a counselor? Dr.H is especially good at keeping you on track while you're in planA/B. Telephone counseling cost only about half of the one in person too. Dr.H recommended to prepare for PlanB for me yesterday, not that he or I are planning to go in that state right away but it's always good to be prepared. He was also concerned about me start disliking him which I already did. I see you did too. I hope you can talk to Dr. H sometime, it will help... although Dr'll be off next week, probably on vacation.<P>Just remember you are not alone. Let's hang in there, I'm right next to you.<BR>Amy

Amy-<BR>I hate waiting for people. H was supposed to come get things today. I was of course up at 3:30am - just couldn't sleep. Too much anxiety. H did not call until 9:30 to say that he wouldn't be here until afternoon sometime. I'm going out of my mind. I just want him to get his things and go, once and for all. He seems to think it'll just take a couple of hours to get his things, but he has his son's whole room to go through in addition to his stuff in the garage - that alone could take a whole day. I also was hoping to sit down and go through the divorce packet and get things started. Plus he was going to rearrange my furniture for me once his stuff was out. Not to mention the fact that I was hoping to have sex - at least I'm honest about it. Out of the 6 times he has come home since this started, we've had sex 4 times. Now that he's taking his things, it seems so final and I just want to have sex with him one last time. Even though I know I shouldn't be giving my body to him because it is just sex for him and nothing more. I can just hear the speech to all my requests now, "I don't have time to help you with anything because I have to get my stuff moved into my new place and get some sleep so I can go to work in the morning." He's moving 45 minutes away so that's gonna waste some time right there in driving. And now he doesn't understand why I won't let him bring the whore to help him move. Is he crazy or what? I don't even want to see what she looks like. I don't want her anywhere near me! It just would have been easier if he'd been here this morning. Now, not only am I anxious about what is going to happen today, but I have to suffer waiting for it to happen as well. I really hate this!!!!<BR>You need to really look out for yourself and your children. As much as you want to reconcile, maybe you should consider pursuing at least a legal seperation to protect your parental rights. I am not letting my H take our daughter anywhere without me until our divorce is final. I don't know where you live, but here he could take her for a visitation and since we have nothing in writing about who has custody he wouldn't have to give her back to me until something was put into writing legally. Since he is her legal parent as well, he could have her the whole entire time it takes for our divorce to be processed and there's nothing I can do about it. I could show up at his door with the police to get her, but he wouldn't have to give her to me by law since custody has not yet been established. Scary isn't it?! That's why I say be very careful, especially since you say you're not a legal citizen here. Protect yourself and your children first and worry about your marriage second. We'd all like to think that our Hs would not be that cruel to take our children away from us, but they've already shocked us once by cheating and being dishonest in that way and we don't know what lies the mistresses are putting into their heads. If H is complaining he misses his children, of course she's gonna tell him to do things to get them - at our cost. What does she care about our rights and feelings. She just wants to have our children since she already has our H; then in her mind, her new family can be complete.<BR>That is also why I'm being very careful to make sure my daughter does not have any contact with OW for now. Once OW is actually around our loving child, she might say to herself, "That's the love of my life's child and I want her to be mine as well." Then she starts plotting to get what she feels she's entitled to. Filling H head with lies about how much better she would be for his child rather than the child's own mother, etc, etc....I can go on and on. I have just finally reached the stage where I don't underestimate anything that can potentially happen, so I'm not taking any chances. He may be leaving me, but I'm gonna be the one calling all the shots.<BR>Keep me updated. Glad you had a nice trip.<BR>I'm praying for you to have guidance at this terrible time. It isn't easy for any of us.<BR>But one day, life will be glorious again.<BR>Take care.<BR>Silvress

Silvress,<BR>How did it go today? I hope you're doing well... It must be so hard, no matter what happened...<P>Now I'm really concerned re: custody during separation, I will talk to a lawyer. It is scary. Thanks for a tip. <P>Although, I don't think he will try to keep kids all by himself. The big thing with him is "he cannot commit." He talks about leaving and travelling all the time, and also said something about the "survival game" on TV several times, to many people. That's what he really wants to do right now. He wants to go to a remoted island, run away from everything in his life, compete and beat the other people, and prove he is the strongest and be appreciated that way. It sounds so childish but this has a lot to do with his childhood. I think he needs counseling but he refuses.<P>I just found out from my SIL, that the one of the OW's kids is handicapped. I really don't see any chance for him to engage that kind of commitment, just to be with her, no matter how he thinks he loves her. While he loves his own kids so much and still can't make a commitment to stay as one family, how can he go to another family and truely be a part of it? I think he knows it too.<P>Plus he'll be dealing with the OW and her H's divorce mess. I don't see my H to be in the middle of that either.<P>Maybe that is his dilemma, guilt, shame, whatever. If he believes he loves her, why can't he do all of that for her? He doesn't love her that much, it is obvious to me.<P>BTW, this OW was involved with a couple men while she's seeing my H. At least 3, her H, my H and the OM. My H knows it of course. I don't think he even dreams about TRUSTING HER. If he does, he is just plain stupid. And I'm going to get STD test for myself.<P>I don't think he has much to be proud of right now. I'm wondering if that is what makes him so depressed? He's been sleeping in the other bedroom, he won't get intimate w/me since "I love the OW" day. I don't know what to think about sex any more. He isn't very nice to me either, he acts like I'm not here, I act like he's not there. I don't even want to look at him.<P>If his love for her is not what making him so depressed, I really have to suspect childhood or gay/bi issue, which really needs counseling. He mentioned that he has "personal problems." Things getting out of my hand... I don't see any hope in this direction.<P>Maybe one good sign, when I got home from my trip, he was looking at info on WA, where we were (are?) planning to move. He told me he found a good web site that has good links to all cities in WA. <P>Also he stopped talking about moving out, and now mostlilkely he's going camping for awhile. But he's sick, possibly tonsillitis, this might keep him from going anywhere anyway...<P>Sometimes I feel like running away (with my kids) and start all over. Before that why don't we all move to WA right away and try it out? I really think that's what we should do...<P>Sorry I'm babbling so long, just letting you know where I'm at.... limbo...<P>Still keeping faith<BR>Amy

Limbo, that is a hard place to be. Just as hard as being out completely. H finally showed up at 4:30. I was furious after waiting all day. Naturally when he first got here I was blubbering like a baby. This made him very uncomfortable and started saying things like, "This is why I wish you wouldn't have been here." Too damn bad if he has to deal with my heartache over what he's doing. Then of course you find yourself asking questions that you don't really want the answer of and they are probably confrontational, but I couldn't help it. He says him and her son get along great and that their sons together get along great. UGH, I wanted to scream. I ask him why he can be a Father to someone elses child and be with that child all the time instead of his own daughter. His response, "I'm just not going to be somewhere that I'm not happy anymore. I am not happy with you." I told him that a marriage does not happy days every day of the year and that we could have happiness again if he would just try to work things out with me. Of course he does not believe this right now because the OW is so wonderful to him. We started talking about sex and he mentioned that maybe if I would have given it to him more this wouldn't be happening. Well, maybe if he would have been there for me emotionally I would have given it to him more. You know? But, no, it's always our fault - never theirs.<BR>He didn't even take 1/2 of his stuff and of course had no time to stay and clean up after himself. So, I have to do it of course.<BR>Well, I hope things work out for you. BTW, I typed up the conditions we agreed to concerning our daughter and got him to sign it infront of a notary yesterday. Yeah!! I don't know what good it will do, but one of the stipulations is that he cannot bring our daughter around this woman until after January 1, 2001. I'm going to call a lawyer today and see how I can make it legal through the courts. Keep your chin up.<BR>Keep me updated.<BR>My prayers are with you.<BR>Silvress

Silvress,<BR>I was losing my hope yesterday and today I'm so happy because my H finally came to his sense!<P>I asked him how long it's going to take for him to sort things out yesterday morning, and he said for the first time "I want to work things out" but then he told me that me being on these forums so much and seeing my counselor bother him, he goes "I hope it's just a temporary thing." I was like WHAT?!!!? These forums and counseling are the only thing I can hang on to in order to keep my sanity!!!!! So I said to him calmly, "I try not to show it, but I'm suffering." I was so mad and sad, told my counselor that, and my counselor concluded that my H has to work on himself so much, can't pay any attention to my pain, that's why he's so selfish and selfcentered right now. I think your H is the same way, but since your H's with the OW, it's really hard to realize for anybody.<P>My H has been sick, (maybe strep throat) and must had to do a lot of thinking on himself lately. It was good because he must thought about how lonely he'd be without his family when he gets sick.<P>Or maybe "Jerry Macguire" on TV last night did some good on his thought. (Sounds silly but men are simple-minded, aren't they?)<P>Anyway he looked a lot better this morning. Started saying that he has lots of problems to work on, and it's not me, or the kids, or even the relationship we have. It is him. And he admitted that. He still wants to go travelling for awhile but it's just for him to get himself back in groove (the phrase he told me to do 2 months ago...)<P>I will give him time, I said I can wait as long as he is willing to work things out, that's the main thing. We have a long rocky way to go, but we will try.<P>I hope your H will realize what's really important to his life soon, and stop running away from himself everytime things get "unhappy." There is always hope. Truth and reality are always there, it's just matter of how soon the one sees it.<P>I was almost desparate yesterday and I'm so hopeful today. It could happen to you. (I could be back in a black hole tomorrow too.) But keep the faith. Keep me updated. I'm here with you...<P>Amy

Amy-<BR>I am so happy to hear that there is some progress in your situation. There could be in mine someday too perhaps. No one knows what the future may hold. It's strange, but I don't know how my H has grown to dislike me so much. Every couple has things they don't like about eachother, it's just a matter of tolerance and he's obviously reached his level. He devoutly claims that he is not happy here with me. Well, there have been many, many times where I was extremely unhappy, but you must realize that you are the one in control of your own happiness - not someone else. So, I learned to pick myself up out of my unhappiness and move on. Some people are not strong enough to do that and think the key to finding happiness is by finding someone else. Oh well, it's hard to change the way a person thinks, so all I can do is just wait and hope that as time goes on, H will realize that our life together had more ups than downs.<P>It sounds like maybe your H is just dealing with some inner demons and the sooner he finds happiness with himself, the sooner he can mend his relationship with you. You are in my thoughts always and I will pray that things work out!<BR>Silvress

Silvress,<BR>How are you doing?<BR>Anxiety sneaking into my mind today. I suppose I was expecting too much because I thought there was a big change in him. He hadn't talked to me much and I start wondering if I should ask him if she called him or not, if he called her to give her his final notice "not to call" like he said he was going to. I'd rather not him call her, I'd rather just him wait 'til she calls and tell her, but I don't know how much I can give him "instructions." Here I go worrying about same old stuff, if he's telling me everything or not... Asking Qs about his honesty and me being on forums are now LBs to him, I really can't let him know that I'm doing this... Or should I ask him? I don't know.<P>When I read your posts last couple times, I got feeling that your H still wants to keep some kind of connection w/you. Leaving his things, doesn't let you know when he's going to be there, still wants sex w/you, etc, something is always not clear, and it shows that he doesn't want to cut you off completely. And OW and him will be unhappy eventually, for sure, so I really think there is a hope.<P>Sorry I'm just babbling. I hope you are doing well. Did you read inamess's post "Is your spuse in love w/OP? Not forever they aren't!" under General Questions? Great post. Lots of great posts and lots of help in GQs. I wonder how Annc, confused33 are doing...<P>Take care...<BR>Amy

Amy-<BR>As far as the sex issue with H, he says he does it just because I want it and I am inclined to believe that because he doesn't exactly join in - well, the last 2 times he didn't anyway. He got something out of it, but he didn't exactly participate. I think that's his way of thinking he's being faithful to OW, by not joining it. Whatever.<BR>Had a scary occurence this morning. Some man was pounding on my door at 5 am. He eventually left. I called H, of course, he didn't answer his phone. I was a nervous wreck. He called back couple hours later to ask if me and daughter were OK, but didn't act like he was truly concerned about it. I told him that we were his family and that he should have been here to protect us. He replied, "I can't be there and no one got hurt, so forget about it." What a callous attitude. Would it have made a difference if someone did get hurt? Honestly, I think not. Naturally being in a emotional state already, I asked him again why he was doing this to me when I love him so much. He said he had to go. Can't even face it. So, I told him, "That's right, it's time for you to get off the phone because you don't want to deal with my grief. Whatever you want is all that matters as always. Go ahead and continue to run away from your problems instead of toughing it out to solve them. We could have worked this out if you just would have been willing to try instead of running away like you always do." I know that was a huge LB moment, but I'm too the point where I don't care anymore. Nothing I do works, so it was time for me to get some of it off my shoulders.<P>I think you should continue to post here and get the strength and support you need. H must realize that if he's not giving you support your mental well being needs to receive it from somewhere. And I don't see the threat anyway. <BR>Take care - I am thinking of you.<BR>Silvress