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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 426
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OP
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 426 |
I am struggling with a feeling of late.... after seeing my wife with her boyfriend looking at furniture together and seeing how happy she looked and then looking at all the circumstances of her affair, it seems as though she made the right decision to leave me. She has her own house now, my son seems cool with the whole situation. He doesn't seem phased that I no longer live with him or mom. Her job is great.... everything in her life is good. The only bad common denominator was me being there. I feel that I was in fact the problem all along and this is the logical punishment that I now reap. Anyone else feel that way? It's the only explination I can come up with because I am doing everything but great....<BR>
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,522
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Joined: Apr 1999
Posts: 1,522 |
MKN,<P>Don't get to down on yourself. My guess is that many folks here have pictured themselfs as the loosers in this situation. I know I felt that way or at least pictured my wife being so happy with the other man. I think she was happy while she was living the fantasy world of the affair. Don't know your whole story, but it could be your seeing part of the fantasy and not all the reality. Just a thought for what it's worth.
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 260
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Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 260 |
mkn - <P>I know how you feel. My W's affair seems to buck the trends...she is apparently very happy with MM, even after 6 months living with him. In statistical language her affair is what is called an "outlier", meaning that it does not follow the normal patterns of affairs and can not be easily explained.<P>For all of those who lament the difficulties of working on a marriage with a spouse who has returned, please keep those of us in mind whose spouse hasn't even turned around once to check on our mental health.
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,365
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,365 |
Hi MKN,<P>Things are not what they seem! Fantasy is temporary. Real life is forever!<P>How long are you willing to wait for what you truely want?<P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,365
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 1,365 |
Shattered1,<P>When I cheated 13 years ago, it took me just 9 months to find out I was living the fantasy. It was too late then. Toni wasn't interested in reconsiliation. <P>Your W is still in Fantasyland. Her all day pass will soon expire. <BR> <P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040
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Joined: May 1999
Posts: 3,040 |
But at what point do you give up and decide it is a lifetime pass to fantasy land? My H has been with the OW for 14 months, living with her for most of the almost 10 months since he left home, and hates me more with each passing hour.
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