I have been reading MB forum for about 3 weeks now and figured this is the place I need to be. Sorry if I get winded the first timed. <BR>My husband of 15 years has been having an affair (about 1 yr) with a co-worker. There is a seven year difference in their ages. He 43 her 50 (3 grown children, been married twice before), I'm 41. In 2/00 he left our home and filed for divorce - "because he was unhappy". I was devistated and thought my world had come to an end. At this time I had no idea about OW. We have no children - just pets. Called continuously to make sure I was ok. Then returns home 6 weeks later and confessed about OW. OW told him if he loved her he would get a divorce, if he loved her he would get her a promise ring, etc. Stayed about 2 weeks then left again, "telling OW that he would give everything up to be with her." By the way she is quite interested in our finances, on what I will get out of divorce, etc. She tries to leave him with the impression that she is concerned for him. I haven't done anything since this is a 50-50 state. She then said "that she had a date and could get "it" anywhere" He called me really upset about their conflict. Then he spills his guts and says that they had said terrible things about me (which I already guessed and he needed to leave town for a while to think." Also, he mentioned that he told her first that he loved her, and her answer was yeah, I love you too. Also, told him that he can divorce me, move in with her and bring everything with him and have sex with me on the side (supposedly she is only joking). Next day she called saying she loved him and that they were soulmates and told him that he was having an anxiety attack. That she only said what she said to hurt him because of me. After returning he shows up at my doorstep 5/31, took him back again and told him he needed to give her up. Thinks she is an innocent and is only doing these things because she loves him. In the meantime I'm plan "a"ing. <P>Are there people with similar stories? I was told that she still contacts him, etc. Does the OW ever give up? Do WS ever wake up? <p>[This message has been edited by daytoday (edited July 19, 2000).]

Welcome <B>daytoday</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>You've read some already and that is good...<BR>...but a good summary point is the following post...<P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Please do separate your posts into smaller paragraphs...<BR>...it makes it easier to read.<P>"Are there people with similar stories?"<BR>... post by questioning specific aspects you're interested in.<P>"Does the OW ever give up?"<BR>... most times yes... but not always.<P>"Do WS ever wake up?"<BR>... again... most times yes... but not always.<P>But support is here!<P>We'll give as much as you can handle!<P> <P>Jim

"Do WS ever wake up?"<P>They often do, and you can help by following advice in this forum.<P>Keep LB's (love busters) to an absolute minimum(easier said than done).<P>Please keep in mind that this process can be very looooong, but it's definitely worth it if it works.<P>Good luck,