I just found out my H will be on a plane to meet his internet-affair or EA (?) within an hour. He is traveling across the county (east coast to west coast) so I have a little time. Until he began this internet thing, I thought we had the perfect marriage for 17 years. I can't think of any reason for him to be unhappy except maybe a midlife crises (he's 51, me 41). I want to change the locks on the house and send him a message that I know where he is and not to bother coming home that the locks will be changed. He is going to HAVE to fight to win me back. But, I am having second thoughts and wonder if I should call him and give him a chance to change his plans and not go. I only have about two hours to make up my mind. Any advise is appreciated (in a hurry!). I feel like if he does not go, he will only do it sometime later. Do I have a LEGAL right to lock him out of our house?? Does anyone know? Help, please??

<small>[ January 31, 2005, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: hanora ]</small>

Chele, I don't know what to tell you. I'm sorry you are in this place. I'm sure you anxiety is off the charts. Any way "at all" that you can hop a plane as well? Chances are slim. Call him. Plan A him if you can. I'm on the west coast I wish I knew where he was so I can knock some sense into him. Personally I would probably call and let him know I knew. I just wouldn't be able to keep it in. I think you can ask him to not come home but not sure what the legality is about locking him out. Sorry I wasn't much help. Good Luck! I'll keep you in my thoughts during this hard time. LSM

oh my - my husband did the same thing - flew to meet his online friend - twice!! I wish I had found out before he left. I would have definitely hopped the next plane - however it was only a two hour flight - not clear across the country! Plan A is all I can think about. He's not thinking clearly right now that's for sure. Hang in there.

Call him and tell him that you know what's going on and that you are on your way out there. He has the choice to come home or pay a lot of money for you to join him. Tell him if he is going to have an affair with anyone and spend a lot of time and money on it, it is going to be with you. If he doesn't come home, get your credit card out and go. I watched my H get in a car and drive 6 hours from midnight to 6 am to be with his OW. If I had known how serious it was then, I would have gone with him or hopped the next plane. I can't tell you how much I regret not doing that now. Better to spend the money than regret that your relationship fell apart because you weren't willing to spend a little money.<P>Check on Travelocity. Maybe they are having a net saver fare to where you want to go. You might even get a great agent ifyou call the airline. Explain the situation, cry and see if they will waive the advance purchase. It's worth a shot.