My husband recently confessed to several affairs. He is in the military and all of them occured while we were apart. He was stationed overseas by himself for 13 months and another one occured during a deployment. I am suprised by my reaction, I did not want to kill him. I decided to give a chance and to start trying to trust him. The only problem is that we recently got the internet and he is spending a lot of time in chat rooms talking to women. I just discovered the address of a woman who does not live too far away. She knows he is married because I was there when he told her he was. He says he is just looking for friends but we have been through a similar situation before, where he met a girl but did not have a relationship. I don't know if I should give him the benefit of the doubt. What do I do?

Welcome <B>angel2005</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P> <BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>...he is spending a lot of time in chat rooms talking to women...<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>this is <B>very</B> serious!<P>You can't ignore this...<BR>...but what to do?... you may be asking.<P>1. Read all you can on the MB concepts... by starting at my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A>.<BR>2. Get the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank>"Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A> and read it!<BR>3. Stay on this forum for help... you'll get lots of it<BR>4. Consider counseling...I would recommend that you have a couple of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling sessions</A> (~$95US a pop... but well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A> (888-639-1639)! Do it alone if he won't go with you... This would make it crystal clear that you are serious about helping your marriage.<BR>5. Start on what we call <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>... (read about it through my links)<P>You H is clearly opening himself for new affairs...<BR>...he may not be seeing this...<BR>...but you have to!<P>One other option (just to keep your own sanity) would be to do some checking up on him...<BR><B>Do this only after you've digested the [b]real</B> meaning of <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>!<BR>You can check out a previous post ===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/000480.html" TARGET=_blank>"Snoop Tricks for Betrayed Spouses"</A>.<P>My prayers are with you.<P> <P>Jim

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by angel2005:<BR><B>The only problem is that we recently got the internet and he is spending a lot of time in chat rooms talking to women. What do I do?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Well, first, do everything that Jim just told ypou to above.<P>Second, realize that you are not meeting your H's emotional need for conversation and maybe recreation. Focus on that. <P>