i have had difficulty posting I hope this is sucessful.<BR>I have recently found out my h has been unfaithful. We moved to the US 4 years ago, and have no family here. We spend a most of our free time together, I believed we had a strong marriage and were great friends. We also recently had a baby and although we are tired a lot we love parenthood. The only blot on the landscape was the amount of time my h spent on the internet. He would spend hour after hour when I was working or sleeping. He looked up amateur pictures and convinced me he had a healthy curosity and there was nothing to worry about. He also tried to talk me into meeting another couple but I said we were enough for each other.<BR>About a month ago he was on the computer and I then started to check our email and discovered he had a secret email address. He denied it at first , then said he was organizing a surprise for us. I knew by his reaction someting was very wrong, no matter how many times I asked or how upset I got he would not tell me. I worked it out for myself and found he had placed ads in swinger sites, and replied to ads. He admitted when I was visiting our relatives with the baby he had met 3 couples on separate occassions and had sex with the women while the man watched, he also attended a swing party with another woman he met and watched a group of women, he claims he did not join in. He claims to be sorry, has set up and appointment to meet with a sex therapist as he believes he has a problem, and has agreed to go to counselling. I feel so angry, and humiliated but at other times I feel nothing. Most days I can hardly get out of bed and wonder how can I continue?<BR>I have talked to no-one as I am so ashamed and feel if I hear myself say it out loud I will crack, I also have some stupid sense of loyalty to him. He knew this was the ultimate way to hurt me yet he went ahead -for what? I hear him tell me he loves me, the time we have had together has been the best years of his life, but I cant believe him, I dont know if i will ever have the same same feelings toward him ever again. I have packed mine and the babys stuff to leave but he has convinced me to stay- for the moment, every day is a battle to stay with him. I hate myself for being so weak.<P>Please advise.

It is good that he is seeking help and seeing a therapist. There are others here who are in the same situation. You might try reading the General Questions" forum. Please try to also get counseling for yourself. Take care of yourself and your child.

I am so sorry...<P>If you haven't already, pls check out this thread...good info.<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html</A>

Welcome <B>sore</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>(It is what was reference in the previous posts)<P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>You have nothing to be ashamed of...<BR>...but an inward look could help you cope...<P>Check out the following...<P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000076.html" TARGET=_blank>Can I forgive?????</A>…..indy032…..1/31/2000<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum31/HTML/000293.html" TARGET=_blank>Making New Memories</A>…..HGBrawner…..3/25/2000<BR><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum28/HTML/003319.html" TARGET=_blank>Forgiveness.....</A>…..just_me…..6/5/2000<P>and outside links...<BR><A HREF="http://www.divorcebusting.com/forumlinks4.html" TARGET=_blank>Forgiveness is a Gift You Give Yourself</A><BR><A HREF="http://forgivenessweb.com" TARGET=_blank>The Forgiveness Web</A><P>and books...<OL TYPE=1><BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/034541344X" TARGET=_blank><B>The Art of Forgiving :</B> When You Need to Forgive and Don't Know How</A> by Lewis B. Smedes <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0060674318" TARGET=_blank><B>Forgive and Forget </B>: Healing the Hurts We Don't Deserve</A> by Lewis B. Smedes <BR><LI> <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/0785282556" TARGET=_blank><B>The Choosing to Forgive Workbook</B></A> by Les Carter, Frank Minirth <BR></OL><P> <P>Jim