I have known for some time that my wife is carrying on an email romance with a former co worker. Three years ago I discovered her diary where she spoke of him in glowing terms. She acts like a teenager about him and she is 48. She became very angry at me for reading her diary. I have not told her that I have been reading her emails for the past four months. I have also tricked them both into emailing to me and I then forward the emails on. <BR>Last night my wife left an email open on our shared computer. I could not ignore it. So I confronted her with it. She claimed it was harmless only a friend. It did mention nude photos. This morning we discussed it further and I told her I did not want her to resent me for cutting her off from this man. She said she would do that but was worried that I would not trust her in the future. I told her I have made very few requests of her in our 24 years of marriage, but I wanted her to cease all contact with this man. She agreed to do that.<P>I left for work at about 7:00 A.M. and when I got to my office I checked the mail address that she thinks is her male friends. She had sent him an email minutes after I left the house.<P>I then sent a reply to her, as her boyfriend, saying I do not love you but would like to have a sexual relationship with you. My hope being that she will be turned off by this approach.<P>Any Ideas, should I try to kill the reply?<P>Help.<P><BR>[This message has been edited by arcain (edited August 11, 2000).]<p>[This message has been edited by arcain (edited August 11, 2000).]

You are so bold! Wow! How did you trick them both into sending their email messages to you first?<P>You don't know how I would love to have an inside track like you into the feelings and conversations of the OP and S. Most of us here would kill for even 1 such opportunity, although I am sure none will admit it. They will tell you that this is wrong and that you should stop reading their emails.<P>Whether or not you "kill the reply" should depend on what your S's response is. If she berates him in a way that doesn't disclose the contents of the email you sent, by all means pass it along. Who are you to stand in the way of their emails? But if she agrees that she also would like the kind of relationship that you suggested in the phony email, just delete it! <P> Whatever happens, don't let them discover that you are getting the emails first. Can you imagine?? They would die!!!! <P>Let me know the response of your wife when you ask whether or not she stopped all contact. <P>It is my opinion that this email relationship could very well be harmless as she says. I have had a couple of email relationships in the past that my H definitely would not approve of even though I would never want to be disloyal or unfaithful to him. Sometimes it's just nice to get hear "you've got mail".<P>You are actually in a wonderful position to gain info about your wife. If you think about it, this whole thing could be highly profitable.<P>You will know her wants and needs without her saying a word to you and be able to fulfill them as seemingly the most intuitive and sensitive man in the world!<P>Good Luck!

She replied to the message saying she didn't want to be a piece of meat. Looks like I may have pulled it off.<P>I got them both to write their emails to me by creating new mail boxes for both that were very similar to their original. I then sent a message from each saying please use this new address its just for you. Then when the new mail comes to my address I copy it and resend it, editing where necessary.

Be careful, what goes around comes around....<BR>Has your W and OM had the opportunity to meet in person? If so aren't they comparing emails, or are they so caught up in each other that they haven't "GOTTEN) it yet?<BR>If this works and she does end it..that is good but what will happen if she finds out is was you sending the e-mails? How will you deal with that?<BR>Just a thought, I want everyone's marriage to work...but aren't you setting yourself up for your wife to "distrust" you in the future if she finds out?<BR>Just playing devils advicate here!!!!<BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by arcain:<BR><B>She replied to the message saying she didn't want to be a piece of meat. Looks like I may have pulled it off.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You are playing a dangerous game, my friend. Intriguing, but dangerous <P>You have your W now thinking about a physical affair with this guy. And if they have contact by other means, they will rapidly figure out your role, and she will resent you for the dishonesty.<P>Interesting that she said she'd break off contact, then replied. I'm curious as to whether she would tell you about that exchange if you asked if she'd stopped talkiong to him. <BR>