I'm not sure I found out. Well, I feel it in my heart and all signs point to it, but I guess I'm in denial. I keep suggesting to myself that I'm over reacting. I'm afraid to confront him about it, for fear of finding out the truth, or hearing his lies. I know I'm only prolonging the agony, but we have a son and I want so badly for us to be a happy family. I am really scared and I feel so empty, like my life is about to crumble apart.

I am so sorry. Please know that while it feels that your life is crumbling apart, it is not. Your life and your marriage may change in ways you never could have dreamed of, but it is not the end of the world. <P>There is a lot of helpful information on this site, and supportive folks who will help you through this.<P>Hugs--<P>Kathi

Your hesitance at accepting it does suggest that you are in denial. I was for 3 months until I finally took control and caught them in bed. Now though I am in shock (as you can imagine) so I'm not sure if you should do it. It was/is incredibly painful. So my advice, do whatever you can to be certain that it is happening without destroying yourself further and then start Plan A and B.

Actually, you can start Plan A now...no need to wait. Plan A is mostly about you...examining your own behavior, changing anything that needs changing, improving your own marriage skills.<P>If you haven't already, look for NSR's "General Welcome" post with lots of good info links to read up on. <P>My favorite is the Plan A 101 post...click below...<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html</A>

I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation. I went from denial to shock to a victim-mentality to grieving to anger to hatred. Please GET REAL and BE STRONG and focused so that you know what you want for your future. Being strong doesn't mean sweeping everything under the rug. I am reading 'Forgive and forget - healing the hurts you do not deserve" by Lewis Smedes.<P>Your emotions will be messed up as is the case with all affairs. As the A is exposed and unfolds you will have to be mindful that you have a child and try to minimise the impact on the child. <P>Your situation is still unknown so you will not be able to know where he is at. Numb and brace yourself because OW could be anyone (as is the case with many in this forum). The WHYs questions will bug you but you need to try to remain sane for the sake of yourself and child. <P>It is true, I thought it was the end of the world, but then I was not about to kill myself for a lousy person. I intend to rise and shine even more, for myself and for my baby, and to show him he can't destroy me.<P>Practically, having support from the right quarters help. My family and church and pastor have been exceptionally comforting. My baby is the reason I live and now I focus all my love on baby. I need to direct the huge amounts of love I have and I am glad I have my baby. Please be circumspect about who you should speak to for two reasons - you do not know who is OW yet, and some people may not be the trustworthy type.<P>Please pray.<BR>God bless you.