I knew my husband and i had a few problems but I had no Idea how bad it was.<BR>I recently found out my husband has an internet mistress. He talks to her till 3 or 4 in the morning and then finally comes to bed. My husband has his own private e-mail account through work that he uses to converse as well as AOL instant chat. I also just found out he has a sectet PO box that I'm not supposed to know about. I love my Husband verry deeply and don't want to let him go, but he refuses to even try to go to counseling of anysort and says he'll work it out on his own (not we, he) I am so lonely for his companionship and scared he is going to leave. I can forgive him, because I love him, but he says he hates me and wants a divorce. Is their any hope.<BR>Despite everything I Love Him more than anything except for God. I would do anything for him can I win back his affections.

Anything is possible. But you first need to be strong for yourself. Once you build back your self worth and confidence you become that much more attractive to your H.<P>Start to read Harleys books. Begin Plan A. And go see a counselor. Even if your H refuses to go. If things work out he may eventually want to go with you.<P>First and foremost take care of yourself. Don't live life for him. Live it for yourself. Then you can make room for him again. Good Luck. Take Care. <P>------------------<BR>Lost Soulmate<P>"Character is doing what's right, when no one is looking"

I know I could use some counseling but my H is verry tight with the money (I'm pretty sure he's spending it on Her) so if I go to a counselor it has got be be free. Does any such counselor exsist, that is worthy.

Welcome <B>Scared and lonely</B>...<P>I have a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do indeed start on <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>...and check out the mechanics of it at ===><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Read all you can at this site....<BR>...start at my <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000002.html" TARGET=_blank>Welcome</A> post.<P>Check out the local library for the book <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6070_sa.html" TARGET=_blank> "Surviving An Affair"(SAA)</A>... and read it...<P>As far a counseling...<BR>...a local minister/priest could give you some direction...<BR>...but unfortunately... "professional" help costs money.<BR>Approaching your H about seeing a doctor to possibly prescribe anti-depressant medication (could help both of you)...<BR>...and to do the MB <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7200_phone.html" TARGET=_blank>telephone counseling</A> (~$95US a session well worth it) with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7010_about.html" TARGET=_blank>Steven W. Harley</A> or Jennifer Harley. Check out the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7000_counsel.html" TARGET=_blank>Counseling Center</A>... and for some specifics... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7015_fee.html" TARGET=_blank>Fees for Counseling Services</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi7020_sched.html" TARGET=_blank>Scheduling an Appointment</A> (888-639-1639)!<P><B>You are NOT alone</B>... <P>Plan A...<BR>Plan A...<BR>Plan A...<P> <P>Jim<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited September 15, 2000).]

Just to let you know, I am starting counseling this week (9-18)<BR>At this time my H will not be joining me but I left it open to him and told him when he is ready he can join me at any time.<P>The night I posted I was having a verry bad night, my moods really go up and down.<BR>I really do have a good self image. I also realize this in not all my fault it take two to make a marriage work and it takes two to make it fail. no one person is 100% wright or wrong. we all have to aknowledge our part in the break down of the marriage covenant. before we can restore it. an affair I realize is just a symptom of problems, not the main problem itself. Now looking back befor Dday I realize that we have had problems for quite a while that neither of us wanted to address so we pretended they weren't their. Well...so much for pretending now we have to deal with them.<P>I love my H unconditionally and will fight for him with my last breath if I have to. Through the Grace of God I have been able for forgive him and feel empathy for him. I beleive God will restore our marriage to even better than original. it just takes time, and drawing closer to God for strenghth, and believe me when you go to God even in the middle of this "Hell" he can give peace (I know, it's the only way I've made it this far.)<P>------------------<BR>Scared and lonely<p>[This message has been edited by Scared and lonely (edited September 16, 2000).]